I had wished a housekeeper a 'Merry Christmas.' I had volunteered for a Christmas morning shift and was trying to spread some cheer. She sounded angry but what I saw was hurt.
Recently a tenant told me that he hated Christmas. He hated the cold. He hated going into debt because of obligations to buy gifts for people he doesn't care about.
A former co-worker was extremely excited at Black Friday time to scoop up all kinds of things for her teenage son. This frenzy lasted up til Christmas and she frequently told me about what she had purchased: The latest game consul & hundreds of dollars of games, expensive sneakers, the list went on & on. In the New Year, this same co-worker was burdened with debt and complained and stressed about trying to pay off all that she had purchased for her son.
These sentiments are not typical nor representative of most of the people I hang about with or know. I perceive that my family, friends, and acquaintances on the whole love Christmas. That is truly is the most wonderful time of the year.
Even so, there can be no doubt that the Christmas experiences my children enjoy look quite different than the ones their grandparents enjoyed, (if they even did), and even different than my childhood ones. The length of the season, points of interest & focus, special events, presents- these things shift with the decades.
Our first year of marriage my husband, 40+ years old, said to me, "My whole life I thought that Christmas was one day. With you, it's a month long!"
Christmas itself can be confusing. As a beloved character in Jelly Telly's 'Buck Denver: Why Do We Call it Christmas?' asks, when told he can watch a Christmas DVD: Which Christmas? The one about Jesus or the one about Santa?
And even in that, things can be confusing. I personally did not grow up with an emphasis on Santa, nor did my children. I never believed in him, but I did enjoy pretending about him. Other Christians are even more strict about keeping Santa out of Christmas. And yet, when my mom was a child, it was very common for a Santa to come to the church and be part of the celebration.
There are a lot of mixed messages.
As a 23-year-old I was boarding with a kind lady from church. She introduced me to something I had never even heard of! The 12 Days of Christmas! (Now, yes, I knew the song. But this was pre-wikipedia. Had it occurred to me to be curious about the origins of the song, I would have had to tramp to the house of someone who owned an Encyclopedia, get the 'C' book off the shelf & perhaps I would have been more informed. As it turned out, I was not curious.) This was a perfect example of one deficit my non-denominational, New England background had given me: A vacuum of liturgy. Communal response & ritual were not part of my life & once I got past the 'Catholic-ness' of them, they became & still are a source of wonderment to me, dripping with meaning & symbolism, and although still not very much a part of my personal experience, very precious.
A few weeks ago, caught up in the whirl of Advent, I contacted a number of people, with the intent to write a post about ways to keep Christ in Christmas. And I shall do that post, but this really isn't it.
The responses fell into a few categories, one being an uncertainty that the responder had anything meaningful to add.
Because Christ is Lord 365 days a year, not just at Christmas. This low-key approach, these responses kind-of surprised me, slightly at least. I have tried so hard to make this season memorable and deeply meaningful, alert to any and every thing that would point to Christ.So worried that Christ will be forgotten that sometimes things end up being forced and/or fake.
There is a calmness that comes with less striving. This response is a good summary: "... I think the most important part about teaching our children about Christmas is having Christ as the center of your heart and lives every day, not just at Christmas time. Each day we rejoice in the fact that we have been given salvation, grace and eternal live and help along the way, and Christmas is a special time to celebrate that. In our home, now and also when I grew up, we enjoyed the traditional Christmas things, the music, the movies of Rudolph and Santa Claus, but what is most important is teaching our children to give and to reflect on the true meaning of Christmas by teaching it at home, by attending Christmas programs at church that set our reflection on Christ and candlelight services singing Christmas carols of Jesus birth, sending Christmas cards that share scripture and Christ' birth."
Another person mentioned family time and said, "Nothing super religious, but all very godly in that it draws us together and fills our love tanks in a godly way."
I got to thinking.
How was Christ in the Christmas of my childhood?
Which led me to thinking about the Christmases of my childhood. Our childhoods are so very important- crucial to who we become. They can be overcome, but not easily. It's quite possible that the tenant and housekeeper I spoke of in the beginning of this post, are carrying childhood hurts that haven't yet been resolved or healed.
What does Christmas mean for me? What does it mean for my children? What will they remember as the precious moments? What did I, what do I love about Christmas?
I hadn't asked my friends these questions, but the answers to the one I did ask led me in that direction anyway.
Knowing that Christ was part of our daily lives, and fully knowing that Christ was central in Christmas,
For me, Christmas was:
- Family. Every single Christmas of my childhood and almost every Christmas until I married my husband- afternoons and evenings were spent on the farm. (Okay. Kinda crying now!) Yes, we got presents, yes we did a devotional & sometimes sang songs. But it wasn't over-scheduled, (as can be my tendency.) It was a big family meal for lunch. Even better, snack-ier meal for supper. Playing with cousins. Rosettes. Accordions & guitars. Simply magical.
- Music. Playing records while decorating the tree. Singing songs with family and at church. Caroling.
- Presents, (of course.) Giving & Receiving. Stockings. Giving to neighbors.
- Coziness. Sitting by the Christmas tree with the lights. Usually reading.
- Church Christmas Programs. Memorizing our lines for a play and/or pieces and/or songs. Sometimes costumes. Oh, how I love a good Christmas program.
- Surprises.
- The Tree. Ornaments from Nancy.
- Word of Life Christmas productions. I may have only been to one or two, but they were quite elaborate. Plus, we had the records so I listened & memorized all the songs & parts.
- School break! Probably the downtime, although I perceived it very differently as a carefree child than I do now. (I don't ever remember feeling very stressed about life!)
- Snow. Most of the time.
- Family. Our little unit & time with extended family, although never on Christmas. The joy of my children & my husband. Time together. This 'Quality Time' Mama likes to ice skate, play games & watch movies with her family.
- Being intentional about Advent/ devotionals/ emphasizing the real meaning of Christmas.
- Presents & Surprises. How fun is it to surprise our children & loved ones. To love on others- friends, neighbors & those less fortunate.
- Christmas movies! White Christmas. The Homecoming. Elf. It's a Wonderful Life.
- Coziness. In our little corner of Carmel.
- Christmas Eve services.
- The Tree.
- Our traditions: Gingerbread houses. Advent calendars. Christmas cookies. Operation Christmas Child shoeboxes. Giving our pets stockings. Getting & decorating the tree. Making gifts.
Noelle responded by asking me a question: "Well, do you want to know which was my favorite?" Her favorite is the Christmas that we didn't have gifts beyond stockings. The Christmas that we 'gave away' our Christmas to Samaritan's Purse. (See story here: http://carmelhillbillies.blogspot.com/2013/11/operation-christmas-child-samaritans.html ) I have heard her mention multiple times that she wants her children to have Christmases where they don't receive anything. This Christmas, she wants to pass out hot coffee to people in downtown Bangor. That Christmas made a deep impression on all of us.
They mentioned the homemade cinnamon buns. Movies. Decorations. The Cozy-Christmasy feeling you get when you are snuggled on the couch with hot chocolate. The anticipation.
In a way, all these things point to Christ, in addition to being wholesome experiences and activities and items. When we feel the belonging-ness of family, we know what it means to belong in God's family. When we spend time together as a family, it teaches us that time spent with God draws us closer to Him. When we give out of a heart of love, it's because He gave to us and showed us how to give & love. When we excitedly anticipate Christmas, we reflect the joy & emotion of God, and we understand what it means to anticipate the 2nd Coming of Christ.
And for those to whom Christmas represents hurt. Disappointment. Pain. We can do our best to show love, which is exactly what Christ did when He chose to be born of a virgin, into this hurting world, to show His love for us and rescuing us from forever disappointment & pain.
"Love Jesus the way He asks you to. Don't worry about the formulas or making Jesus part of the season too much. If Jesus is important to your heart, He will be foremost in the Advent/ Christmas season." (from a friend.)
enjoyed reading this, Wendy. Merry Christmas. Wish we could see you all. Our gang would love it.
ReplyDeleteOh, wouldn't that be wonderful! Especially with all the little ones!!
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