A Delightful Sampling of Life

These past 2 weeks have been a concentrated version of LIFE for us!

In this short time period we have had a sampling of almost everything that I love and find joy in.  The variety of experiences has made these past 2 weeks kind-of a microcosm of our lives, encapsulating in a small amount of time the characteristic delights and encounters that make up our lives, right down to the unfortunate "row" that my husband and I had a week ago!

Our family, our God, our interests, our strengths, have all swirled around us recently.

Some highlights:

• Easter!  Celebrating our Savior's Resurrection is the culmination of our faith and joy!  We prepared our hearts with God's Word and we attend our own church, Crosspoint Church, as well as my parents' church, EHBC.  
• 2 of our does gave birth, giving us one kid each!  The preciousness and miracle of new life never gets old.

• This has meant fresh, raw milk and I have enjoyed every part of that:  Milking, cooking, making yogurt and soap and butter.

• The Great Outdoors.  I believe that spending time in nature, in God's Creation, is healing for us.  I love sharing these times with my family.  Hiking, Cross-country skiing.  Micah was camping last night!  (Brrrr!!)

• Family Time!  We've had our work & school to do, but we've had time together:  Ice cream, games, movies, walks & talks.  Time with all our children, our parents, and our nieces and nephew.

• We've had new accomplishments and favorite experiences:  Micah joined the Boy Scouts!  Micah went to MA for the History Bee.  Micah shot a 500 lb wild boar!  Kevin went skiing with a friend.  Noelle volunteered at the Boys and Girls Club.

These past 2 weeks are such an example of me, to me, that they bring to mind:

• First and foremost- ALWAYS first and foremost:  Thank you, Jesus!  For all the good things You do!  (-Keith Green)
• How we are uniquely made by God.  And whenever I start to think about that, I also ponder if I am honoring the unique ways that God made my husband, my son, my daughter, my mother, my friend... I am guessing -just guessing!- that not everyone would love milking twice a day- The act and the preparation and clean-up and the fact that it means one needs to be home every morning and every evening!  I am guessing- just guessing- that not everyone "comes alive" on a hike!!  It is a sincere, intentional goal, even mantra, of mine to honor the uniqueness of others, particularly my family, by not trying to pressure them to be or do what they were not made to be or do, as well as to help them discover and genuinely celebrate who God made them to be and their individual, unique desires, skills, gifts, and interests.  
• Comparison destroys contentment.  (-Heidi Roseman!)  Why do I always come back to this one?  Probably because it's a struggle for me.  To be content.  (Oh, what I wouldn't do for 10 children!!!)  And to not compare!  I don't intend to do it, but it happens.  It helps to have a heart of gratitude:  Thank you Jesus for what You have done!  

Peace to Be Me. ~A Wendy Post

I'm not sure why sometimes I look around
& look within
& only see what I am lacking and not what I have experienced success in.

I am at the age & stage when personal growth has naturally come to the forefront & is quite important to me.  I want to model for my kids a confidence & acceptance in who I am.  These themes occur repeatedly in my blog posts because I am learning to accept myself with where I am at- this moment, this day.  I place a great importance on 'keeping it real' because I respect genuineness in others.  This assurance does not turn a blind eye to weaknesses and areas that truly need improvement.  In fact, I believe we are at the best starting point to improve & change what needs to be changed when we can accept who we are right now.  This is what I want to model, but I have a ways to go!!!

The perspective that Jesus and His Word gives us complements this idea.
Thirsty?  Come- whosoever.  There is grace.
Also- God placed the parts in the body, every one, just as He wanted them to be.

Some of my successes in recent years include:

• fording rivers & hiking mountains & staying nights alone in the wilderness.
• using the same flat cloth diapers for newborns and for two-year olds.
• tending goats & detecting estrus & helping deliver kids & bottle raising kids & twice daily milking a goat.
• throwing great birthday parties & homeschool Valentine parties & homeschool field days.
• making all kinds of jam & canning spaghetti sauce & pickles & dilly beans & relish.
• raising chickens and ducks.
• feeding & clothing a family on a shoestring budget.
• leading regular family devotions.
• learning how to knit.
• navigating the difficult waters of being a stepmom.
• Homeschooling two very different children for 5 years.

I don't want to look at my kitchen and think, 'Man, I really stink at decorating & I kinda stink at keeping things clean too!!' I want to think, 'Man, I am good about not using paper products & I make a lot of homemade meals & I prioritize time with family and time to re-charge over having a squeaky clean home, plus I've saved myself from spending a lot of money of decor!'  

And I want to go into a friend's house and think, 'How cool that she is so darn good at decorating!  Her kitchen is so beautiful to look at!' and have that be totally-not-threatening to me because it is indeed okay with me that she is good at something and has a passion for something that I really don't care about.  We are giving different things to our kids and since God places our kids in our families he knows what they need!  Plus, how can my friend help me with gardening if that isn't a gift for her & how can I help my friend with berry picking if that isn't my passion?  

We need to be different and yet we pick on each other's differences & rate and rank them as though all of life were some kind-of contest.  Maybe even mostly we pick on our own differences and rate them.  (I can feel good about myself because I have taken up running again & am sticking with it but I feel badly about myself because I didn't follow through with the oil pulling, plus my teeth are not that great & I really wish I had a more magnetic personality, although my need for alone time does lead to a lot of self reflection and this helps me identify areas that need change and improve myself, but then I don't put as much time as I should into cleaning my home...')

#ohdear  

'I should'.  Says who?  Because if it is not God telling you that you should than it is worth examining.  Whether it is the voice of someone else or your own internal voice telling you that you are just not good enough and you are basically good at the wrong things because if you were good at the 'right' things you would be more acceptable... in the eyes of others?  In our own eyes?  When you arrive at a place of healing & a place of acceptance then you can take those should comments in stride!  Whether they are from within or from the outside.

Why yes!  I absolutely should journal!  Good idea!  I think I'll get started!  or...

Why yes!  I absolutely should journal!  However, I know that isn't very practical for me right now.  I'm working on some other things and you know- I can't do it all, and that is very okay with me.  Maybe someday!!  

Either one.  Comes with a peace in the heart and mind that says It is okay.

God says that I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

God says that there is therefore now NO condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.

Giving permission to yourself as well as not requiring permission from others to be YOU.  Glorious You.  Glorious Me.  

Did you know God delights in me??  That's  wondrous thought!

Glorious Me, I decided to spend a big portion of my day knitting.  Because it is calming & something that I like to do.  Because I am probably the only auntie making a sweater for this new baby.  Because that is what I have to offer, not just to Baby Boy but to myself.  I offered myself a calm, quiet day of knitting, amongst the mess!  And for the next few hours I will offer myself the joy that comes through listening to 'my programs' while I fold laundry & sweep & wash dishes.

And for sure my 'balance' is not the same as the 'balance' of another, or another, or another.
And I don't have it right but I also may not have it wrong.
Let me be me.
And Lord, please help me to parent these charges in a way that lets them be them.  Help me to shape them & guide them according to the bent that you have given them.