Tuesday, March 4, 2014

The Service We Offer Others - A Parenting Post

This post runs the risk of either sounding or being self-serving.  That isn't my intention.  Instead I want it to serve as an encouragement to serve, in big or small ways.  Kind-of a snapshot of the evolution of my understanding of serving & how to implement that in a family.

Yesterday Noelle, Micah & I had the pleasure of volunteering at CEF.  This is the second time we've been able to help put out a mailing.  It is about the simplest & easiest way to serve that I can imagine.  3.5 hours, (including a lunch break), of folding newsletters & stuffing envelopes.  I feel guilty that they even serve us lunch, as it really isn't necessary.  As we left the office & were headed out the door, Micah said, "Look Mom!  4 papercuts!"  On the way home he told me, without prompting, in his own words as only Micah can do, "Mom, my joy meter went WAY up today after serving at CEF!"

Coupled with our pastor's sermon on Sunday, I couldn't help but think.....

I grew up in a service-minded home.  My parents volunteered & currently volunteer.  Church, parachurch organizations & also non-religious organizations, such as Hospice.  Their service didn't end there but extended to personally helping neighbors & other people.  It wasn't uncommon for us to gather to rake leaves for an elderly person.  Mom would sometimes suggest that I babysit without pay for a family.


Therefore, it was certainly natural for me to serve others in several capacities.  Naturally I believe that when I am serving others I am really serving God and the people I am actually serving.  And without a doubt the one who serves receives at least as much blessing out of service as the one being served.  We serve for a variety of purposes and reasons.  I think at the core is the fact that 'It's the right thing to do' and God tells us to.  I think it's also honest to admit that we serve because it gives us purpose & helps us 'feel good'.  Serving takes our eyes off self and we can all use more of that!

So anyway~
Church lends itself to serving, (as it should!)  Nursery & teaching children in Junior Church or Sunday School.  Directing Vacation Bible School or helping out with other ministries.  Baking food & leading mission trips.  Cleaning out a closet. Bringing meals to those who need them.  Serving at a camp.  The list goes on & on.  
Then of course there are ways to serve people in our own communities.  Bringing food to a neighbor.  Piling wood for an elderly person.  Babysitting.  Volunteering at school.  I have learned that service may be washing someone's hair & blow drying it.  This was way out of my comfort zone but something I found myself doing for someone not so long ago.  

However I did not realize that there is a connection between serving together as a family and a lower statistic of children 'leaving the faith' when they become adults.  That's an added incentive and kind-of a 'bonus'.  

Sometime I should really write a post about 'Faith at Home'.  It is actually one of my absolute PASSIONS

This is where my pastor's message comes in because he mentioned in his message the statistics about how over 70% of kids growing up in the church leave the faith once they become an adult.  He followed that with other statistics as well.

Please allow me to very briefly tell about when I came to understand this information. It was pivotal in my walk with the Lord & in my parenting & also how I came to view ministry within the church.  Several years ago, I'm going to roughly guess about 5-6 years ago, my friend, Lynne & I went to Lewiston for a Focus on the Family parenting simulcast.  It turned out to be life-changing for me.  (Briefly)... One of the speakers was Mark Holmen & he spoke about Faith at Home.  He mentioned these same discouraging statistics & he brought to my attention a new 'Faith at Home' movement that is based on Deuteronomy 6.  I devoured his books & Brian Haynes' book Shift and even some of Think Orange by Reggie Joiner.  There were specific numbers thrown out about what % of parents talk to their kids about faith, read the Bible with them, etc.  I've loaned all these books out, so I don't have the specifics.  In fact, I didn't even believe the statistics.  I grew up in a home where we had family devotions.  It was hard for me to believe what they were saying, that most people were two or three generations away from that experience.  I even surveyed the families of my church & compiled the data to give the leadership so that we could see where the holes were right in our own church.  I found that it was true.  Families were not doing these things, for the most part.  

I could go on & on about that - but back to service.  I don't have all the specific numbers, but less than 10% of families who attend church regularly participate in an act of service together as a family.

Wow.  I had never before made the connection that it was that important to serve together.  I was predisposed to want to and I was already serving but this helped me start to be very intentional about finding family service projects.  Long after our dear children leave our nest, Kevin & I plan to keep on serving.

I have previously chronicled our giving experiences with Operation Christmas Child/Samaritan's Purse and that can be found here:

This is easier said than done!  There are not an abundance of service opportunities for elementary aged children.  

One of the very best 'finds' we had turned out to be serving at Manna, which is, in part, a local soup kitchen.  I am forever grateful that they allowed my children to serve.  So for an entire year, nearly every Tuesday at supper time, my husband & I and our three children, ages 7, 9 & 10, served there.  We dished out food, we passed out plates of food.  We poured drinks.  We cleared plates & cleaned up afterwards.  Sometimes there were more volunteers than were really necessary for the number of people coming in to eat.  I like to be useful, so I would often go down to the food pantry and organize and put away food.  We would have continued doing this, but my job changed slightly and I started working on Tuesday nights & other nights didn't work for us to be there, so serving at Manna ended for us at that time.  This was a wonderful, wonderful, WONDERFUL experience for our family.  For so many reasons & in so many ways.  

Another super service experience for our family, (minus Micah), was in the summer of 2011 when Kevin & I led a group of preteens, (including D & Noelle), on a GROUP mission trip in York, PA.  I've done a couple of GROUP trips but it was Kevin's first time.  It was very special to have our girls on our team.  Our plan was to lead another one in 2013.  Both Micah & Noelle would have gone and that would have given Micah a chance to be part of this fantastic experience.  However, I did not have peace about it, and knowing now what I do, I can see that God was guiding me through that very clearly.  This GROUP trip was also an amazing experience.  It opened up their eyes to those less fortunate and showed them what a big deal it is to work on making a difference in the lives of others.






You know, sometimes the 'easy' ways to help are the mission trips & organizations.  I want the kids to have a well-rounded view of serving.  Sometimes it's serving ME by sweeping the goat poop off the porch!  Babysitting without pay when you would really like the money.  Shoveling snow for a cranky neighbor.  Stopping to give a giftcard or a box of Triscuits to someone who is begging. On several occassions we have taken our children downtown in Bangor, sometimes with other children, to pass out hot coffee & lunches.  Sometimes it just means filling in a hole!


In this self-serving culture we live in where it is 'all about me' right NOW, it is SO important for both the individual's sake & for the good of the family that we learn to serve together.  It's an added bonus that it also will enrich your child's faith.  Look around you because opportunities abound.  Be creative about your serving.  Involve your family!  Just Do It.

"One act of beneficence, one act of real usefulness, is worth all the abstract sentiment in the world."  -Ann Radcliffe

"Giving frees us from the familiar territory of our own needs by opening our mind to the unexplained worlds occupied by the needs of others."  -Barbara Bush


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