If you are a Homeschooling Parent.... ~A Homeschooling Post

1.  Be an Ambassador for Homeschooling.

Nearly everyone you meet will have met a homeschooler who is:
     a.  Weird!  Very religious, (as am I!), buttoned up or Culotte-wearing and so well behaved and 'in-line' that you wonder if they have any thoughts of their own.  Even though you know they aren't they appear to be in some kind of a cult (!) and seem afraid of the outside world.
OR
     b.  Wild!  Families who 'homeschool' but basically do nothing or nearly nothing or appear to do nothing academic, including for the high school years.  The younger kids seem to run wild and the older ones are lacking very basic information that adults need to live full lives.

It's up to YOU to change these stereotypes!  Homeschooling is pretty commonplace these days.  However it will be up to you to educate those who may have misinformation about homeschooling.  Many times I have explained the specifics of what Maine requires from homeschoolers.  Many times have I described the vast array of curriculum available.

Guess what?  One reason:  It is likely that someday in the future a bill will appear in your state legislature seeking to curb homeschool freedoms.  People vote based on their assumptions & experience.  May we each have done our jobs as 'ambassadors' for homeschooling so that all those in our circles will have a positive view of this educational choice. 

2.  Don't be closed-minded about educational choice.

Please do not be a homeschooling parent who thinks & loudly says that homeschooling is what is best for every child & every parent & every combo of child & parent for every subject at every stage & age.  This is not possibly  true.  Have an opinion.  Share your opinion.  However the first second that others feel you are not even willing to even consider the fact that public school isn't evil & that homeschooling doesn't work for everyone at all times, they will immediately turn you off.  You can't be much of an ambassador when no one is willing to listen to you.

So- repeat after me:  Very good parents send their children to public school.  Very good parents send their kids to private school.  And sometimes parents who homeschool are not very good parents.

3.  Prepare your answers for comments & questions that will frequently be posed to you.

Most commonly I hear these 2, but there are many more:

    1.  Aren't you worried about socialization?  Won't they be [gulp] weird??
In spite of the fact that I referenced 'weird' earlier, I don't mind if my kids are weird!  If by 'weird' you mean individuals who don't mindlessly follow the crowd, the answer is 'yes'!!  I want my children to know what they like, know what they're good at and to be themselves.  As for socialization, homeschoolers today have more group opportunities than they can take in or take on.  Also, which is more natural & more true-to-adult-life?  Socializing with a group of peers who happen to have birthdays all within a few months of yours or socializing with multiple ages, possibly grouped according to interest and/or people you actually choose?

   2.  I couldn't do it.  I just don't have that much patience.
I can very much assure you that God didn't give my an extra serving of patience!  We do what we put our minds to do & the process has been edifying for me.

4.  Your child needs to learn how to behave.  To sit.  To wait their turn.  To listen and be taught by other adults.

Have you ever taught a homeschooled kid who is so used to life being all about them that they monopolize the talking time & are intolerant of what other children have to say?  (Well I have...)  Now I am all for unschooling.  I am.  However I have always felt that it was important that my kids know how to function in a classroom and obey the authority of other adults.

Noelle went to 3 years of school & Micah went to 1/2 day Kindergarten so they are both aware of what 'real school' is like.  As homeschoolers they have taken Science classes with Tony.  They have participated in book clubs & dance classes & Sunday School & AWANA & other activities.  They are not perfect & perfectly behaved children isn't my goal.  But they do know how to behave in a group setting.  (I would certainly hope so by ages 11 & 13!!)  Being an ambassador.

5.  Enjoy it.

The biggest advantages of home education are flexibility, time with your kids, and freedom of choice.  There is no need to duplicate the school experience!  Your options are w-i-d-e open.  Enjoy this time.  Be creative.  Stress less.

'Lasts' ~A Homeschooling Post

I don't do 'lasts' very well.
Last night in the house.
Last campfire of the summer.
Last time breastfeeding.

We often don't know that something will be a 'last.'
Last time our child asks us to color with them.
Last time our hand is held, unashamedly, in public.
Last time she fits into the fuzzy, blue sleeper.

This time I know.
Or can at least say with great probability.

I'm about to embark on my 6th year of homeschooling.
My last year of homeschooling.

From knowing how to read only short vowel words to never-ending repetitions of phonics charts to reading Harry Potter & the entire Magic Tree House series...

From a poor pencil grip to repeated reminders & tricks to a proper pencil grip & pages & pages & pages & pages & pages of fiction & back again to a sometimes poor pencil grip...

Tea Time
the Bangor Public Library
Walks & Sketches
Reading Time
Math Corrections
Valentine's Day Parties & Field Days

This has been the adventure of my life.

I am so grateful.  JOY unspeakable.
I am simultaneously overwhelmed that I have had this precious gift & grief-stricken that it is coming to an end.

We may never make candied orange peels again and we may never dip candles again & we may never dance away to I Get Down, (And He Lifts Me Up) and I may never again need to whip out the Grumpy Frog and we may never go to a movie at noontime on a school day.
But we might.
And we did.

Thank you, God.
Thank you, God.
Worth every, single, fleeting second.  

We Three.  We have this.  And we can't bottle it to enjoy later but the effects on each of our lives will ripple farther & outlast what that bottle could hold if it could.

There will be some tears this year.
The type that happen during a 'last.'  During an epic 'last.'
The type that recognize the gift and the type that truly are oh so glad, OH SO GLAD that it has happened.

Cheers to Us.  Let's make it a 'last' that will last.

Peace to Be Me. ~A Wendy Post

I'm not sure why sometimes I look around
& look within
& only see what I am lacking and not what I have experienced success in.

I am at the age & stage when personal growth has naturally come to the forefront & is quite important to me.  I want to model for my kids a confidence & acceptance in who I am.  These themes occur repeatedly in my blog posts because I am learning to accept myself with where I am at- this moment, this day.  I place a great importance on 'keeping it real' because I respect genuineness in others.  This assurance does not turn a blind eye to weaknesses and areas that truly need improvement.  In fact, I believe we are at the best starting point to improve & change what needs to be changed when we can accept who we are right now.  This is what I want to model, but I have a ways to go!!!

The perspective that Jesus and His Word gives us complements this idea.
Thirsty?  Come- whosoever.  There is grace.
Also- God placed the parts in the body, every one, just as He wanted them to be.

Some of my successes in recent years include:

• fording rivers & hiking mountains & staying nights alone in the wilderness.
• using the same flat cloth diapers for newborns and for two-year olds.
• tending goats & detecting estrus & helping deliver kids & bottle raising kids & twice daily milking a goat.
• throwing great birthday parties & homeschool Valentine parties & homeschool field days.
• making all kinds of jam & canning spaghetti sauce & pickles & dilly beans & relish.
• raising chickens and ducks.
• feeding & clothing a family on a shoestring budget.
• leading regular family devotions.
• learning how to knit.
• navigating the difficult waters of being a stepmom.
• Homeschooling two very different children for 5 years.

I don't want to look at my kitchen and think, 'Man, I really stink at decorating & I kinda stink at keeping things clean too!!' I want to think, 'Man, I am good about not using paper products & I make a lot of homemade meals & I prioritize time with family and time to re-charge over having a squeaky clean home, plus I've saved myself from spending a lot of money of decor!'  

And I want to go into a friend's house and think, 'How cool that she is so darn good at decorating!  Her kitchen is so beautiful to look at!' and have that be totally-not-threatening to me because it is indeed okay with me that she is good at something and has a passion for something that I really don't care about.  We are giving different things to our kids and since God places our kids in our families he knows what they need!  Plus, how can my friend help me with gardening if that isn't a gift for her & how can I help my friend with berry picking if that isn't my passion?  

We need to be different and yet we pick on each other's differences & rate and rank them as though all of life were some kind-of contest.  Maybe even mostly we pick on our own differences and rate them.  (I can feel good about myself because I have taken up running again & am sticking with it but I feel badly about myself because I didn't follow through with the oil pulling, plus my teeth are not that great & I really wish I had a more magnetic personality, although my need for alone time does lead to a lot of self reflection and this helps me identify areas that need change and improve myself, but then I don't put as much time as I should into cleaning my home...')

#ohdear  

'I should'.  Says who?  Because if it is not God telling you that you should than it is worth examining.  Whether it is the voice of someone else or your own internal voice telling you that you are just not good enough and you are basically good at the wrong things because if you were good at the 'right' things you would be more acceptable... in the eyes of others?  In our own eyes?  When you arrive at a place of healing & a place of acceptance then you can take those should comments in stride!  Whether they are from within or from the outside.

Why yes!  I absolutely should journal!  Good idea!  I think I'll get started!  or...

Why yes!  I absolutely should journal!  However, I know that isn't very practical for me right now.  I'm working on some other things and you know- I can't do it all, and that is very okay with me.  Maybe someday!!  

Either one.  Comes with a peace in the heart and mind that says It is okay.

God says that I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

God says that there is therefore now NO condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.

Giving permission to yourself as well as not requiring permission from others to be YOU.  Glorious You.  Glorious Me.  

Did you know God delights in me??  That's  wondrous thought!

Glorious Me, I decided to spend a big portion of my day knitting.  Because it is calming & something that I like to do.  Because I am probably the only auntie making a sweater for this new baby.  Because that is what I have to offer, not just to Baby Boy but to myself.  I offered myself a calm, quiet day of knitting, amongst the mess!  And for the next few hours I will offer myself the joy that comes through listening to 'my programs' while I fold laundry & sweep & wash dishes.

And for sure my 'balance' is not the same as the 'balance' of another, or another, or another.
And I don't have it right but I also may not have it wrong.
Let me be me.
And Lord, please help me to parent these charges in a way that lets them be them.  Help me to shape them & guide them according to the bent that you have given them.

University of Maine Museum of Art's Young Curators Program

Some kids have sports.

Some kids have music.

Some have both.

Noelle's 'thing' is definitely reading & writing.   She quite enjoys the fine arts as well.

Young Curators is such a super great program to speak to these strengths and interests of hers!

The University of Maine Museum of Art is located in downtown Bangor.  The first time Noelle & Micah ever went is when their fabulous Science teacher, (and lover of the arts), took them there.  Admission is sponsored and therefore free.  Another time I was there with all three kids actually, plus I had brought another child with me, and it was on this Field Trip that I heard about the Young Curators program.  I knew immediately it would be a great fit for Noelle. 

This year was her second year participating.  It is only the third year that UMMA had its Young Curators program.  The program is for 11-17 year olds, so Noelle has been about the youngest student both years.  

Eva is the Educational Director at UMMA and we think she is just fabulous.

Young Curators meets for about 8 weeks in the months of April, May & June.  They meet for two hours a week.  As the name suggests, they curate an exhibition for the summer season.  (UMMA changes its exhibits 4 times a year.)  They collaborate to select artwork from UMMA's permanent collection.  They develop a theme for their exhibit, research, and write.  They then present their work at a Member's Preview opening reception.

Participating in Young Curators has provided a number of enriching experiences for Noelle.  They have met with museum staff members to learn about all the different possible positions/careers involved in an art museum.  This has included frame construction, (something they got to try their hand at), pamphlet writing, curating, directing, etc.  

They have had a number of special speakers.  A UMaine Art History professor gave a talk this year about curating and writing for art.  Noelle learned about the different dynamics of curating for a small museum vs. a larger one.  Last year an art writer came.

I think that one of the greatest benefits of the program is the collaboration and team effort.  The students have to work together to decide the title of their exhibit, the theme and agree on which works of art to include.  The exhibit uses pieces from the permanent collection.  Eva narrows down the choices and the Young Curators make the final selection.  This teamwork is such an important life skill!

A major portion of the program is about writing.  Last year UMaine grad students helped them with their writing.  Noelle explained to me that she has learned a lot about writing for art.  She was taught that the writing should not include opinions and also how to write for a specific audience.  Both years she has participated in Young Curators they have done the downtown Bangor Artwalk, which has been a great cultural experience as well as good practice in presenting her research, artist, and selected works.  She learned to write a bit differently for the Artwalk than for the Member's Preview, which was composed of people well-versed in art and sometimes well-versed in a specific artist or piece.

After the group selects the theme and specific pieces of art, it is research and writing time!  What a wonderful experience!  They do some work at home & some at the museum.  They write wall labels but they also want to be very familiar with the artist and art piece they are writing about and presenting.  This year this was emphasized even more.  Noelle wanted to be prepared for all questions she might get asked.  The UMMA doesn't go easy on the students!  They want to make sure the Young Curators aren't just making up answers but really understand the piece and the artist.  This was hard work and involved practice.  The finished wall labels are a big accomplishment.

This year the Young Curators also had the opportunity to travel to Colby College together for an exhibit there.  I think there may have also been an art talk but I am not sure.

We highly, highly, highly recommend UMMA's Young Curators program!  

Did I mention that it is free??

This is a big deal for us because we just simply cannot afford to pay for this type of experience.  If you live in our area and are interested in applying for next year's group, I suggest you contact Eva at UMMA.  

Happy 8th Grade Graduation to my Stepdaughter! ~A Step parenting Post

I don't remember it.
Kevin says that the first time he remembers meeting me was at a Sunday evening service at our church.  (btw, my favorite service) We were regular attenders and he & D were hanging out in the back pew.  I liked to keep Noelle with me for the singing time, so apparently on my way out the back & toward the nursery, I saw a new face and offered to show this man where the nursery was.
This is important because this was the first time I met my future stepdaughter, D!

(I very much wish I had pictures from these early days, but they are all on film & tucked away somewhere, so the pictures will only reflect the past few, digital-camera years!)

Skip ahead to D being five years old and I started dating her father!  This means I have been part of her birthday celebrations since she was turning 6 years old!  What a privilege.  Plus I just so happen to love parties!

Well today she graduates from 8th grade.  14 years old.  An unknown future in the hands of a known God.

It is no secret that the stepmother-stepdaughter relationship is thought to be the most difficult of all the possible blended family relationships.  There are some pretty good reasons for that.

But let me tell you about what I know.  (Seeing as the truth sets us free & all!)

1.  Her father has been all-in.

Seriously all in.  Picking up the broken pieces and being there.  Daily Presence.  Combing hair & sleepovers & pets & parent-teacher conferences & fun traditions like the girls doing his hair & making sure the door stayed open for a good relationship with the other parent & lice shampoo.  Always extra clothes in the truck.  Rides on the lawn mower & time spent on bike rides & fishing & camping and the list truly goes on.  We all make sacrifices as parents.  But I want to declare - that this dad, my husband, he has done well with her, by her, for her.  Meals cooked & prayers said & tears shed & hopes for a better tomorrow.  Clothes sewn & toys mended & literally 1.4 bagillion unnoticed-here-on earth efforts that matter.  What a wonderful gift to her.  Truth.

2.  She has had some great spiritual training.

We have plugged into every available resource we could plug into!!  Camp Fairhaven, Living Waters, Adventures in Odyssey, Passport to Purity, AWANA, Pioneer Club, Truth Chasers Mailbox Club, CEF Wilderness Camp, Bible Bee, Manna, Community Kids, Youth Group, Retreats, Adventures in Odyssey, and I am sure there are more.  A big influence has of course been our local church.  Both Kevin & I were very involved at Church of the Open Door and D attended Sunday School and church under wonderful teaching.  VBS and opportunities to minister such as the GROUP preteen mission trip Kevin & I led.  D has had the privilege these past 2 years to attend Christian school.  I cannot forget the myriad of people who have built into her, grandparents & relatives & teachers & family friends.  

In our family the goal we have for each person to love God and serve him supersedes all other goals.  Grades, careers, accomplishments, sports - these are all very much secondary to each child truly knowing God and following Him.  Therefore, our home structure is set up to help accomplish this, imperfect though we are at it.  Family devotional time is core to our very being.  We try to make decisions based on how the decision will affect spiritual life.  We approach every decision this way, big decision or small decision.  Truth.

Years ago I gave D a little leather heart for Valentine's Day and I recorded this message on it:  "D- my prayer for you is that you will see life from God's point of view and use what you know in a way that pleases God.  I love you.  Love, Wendy."  This remains a good summation of my prayer for her.  

3.  We have been a family.

As a family we have tried things, re-tried things, messed up, grown, grown up, and through it all we have been together!  It hasn't been perfect but I can look back and see oh-so many blessings!  Our family identity includes, not just #1-2, (a devoted dad & spiritual growth priority), but shared interests.  Our family likes to do a little bit of lots of outdoor things:  hike, bike, kayak, canoe, fish, camp, snowshoe, xcountry ski.  We love to play games!  We like to watch movies & TV shows together.  Some of our favorite TV shows are:  Little House on the Prairie, Down East Dickering, North Woods Law, and Duck Dynasty.  We like to do kinda hillbilly-crazy things like snow-mo-boating!!  We like campfires & stromboli.  We have some super-fun and memorable family traditions like Labor Day Weekend camping-in-the-backyard and Family Table Restaurant Breakfast & MemoriaI Day Camping and Family Game Night.  I am so very thankful that for these years D has been here to be a part of this family and who we are as a family.  You can't absorb what you aren't present for.  This has built significant security into D.  Truth!  

4.  We have great, seriously great memories.

I cannot go into details without crying because the days have been long but the years have been short indeed.  Crying & hugging in my lap at the dentist office when the worst was over, ice cream after school concerts, practicing the flute, (okay, maybe that isn't a fun memory!!), days & days & days of camping, trying on clothes & crafts galore.  Vacations to Florida, Virginia, Ohio, Martha's Vineyard, New Hampshire, Prince Edward Island.  This list could go on forever.  Shared experiences.  Truth.

(I have to stop myself here or I will/could/would literally put 5,482 pictures in this one post.  Because that is how many good ones I have.)

A devoted dad, an upbringing that has tried to put spiritual growth first, an intentional family life & wonderful memories.  That is a lot to be thankful for!  

The best words I can find to express my heart toward D are found in the words to some songs I posted this past February, on the night before an important court date for our family.  They can be found here:

http://carmelhillbillies.blogspot.com/2014/02/bedtime-blessings-parenting-post.html

In addition, to change some of the songs in this Rascal Flatts song:  

"I hope the days come easy and the moments pass slow

And each road leads you where God wants you to go
And if you're faced with the choice and you have to choose
I hope you choose the One that means the best for you.

And if one door opens to another door closed
I hope you keep on walkin' ~til you find the window
If it's cold outside, show the world the warmth of your smile
But more than anything, more than anything

My wish for you
Is that this life becomes all that God wants it to
Your dreams stay big, your worries stay small
You never need to carry more than you can hold

And while you're out there gettin' where you're gettin' to
I hope you know Somebody loves you
And wants the same things too
Yeah, this is my wish

I hope you never look back but you never forget
All the ones who love you and the place you left
I hope you always forgive and you never regret
And you help somebody every chance you get

Oh, you'd find God's grace in every mistake
And always give more than you take
But more than anything, yeah more than anything

My wish for you
Is that this life becomes all that God wants it to
Your dreams stay big, your worries stay small
You never need to carry more than you can hold

And while you're out there gettin' where you're gettin' to
I hope you know Somebody loves you."

Yes, yes indeed. Somebody and somebodies love you.

We are glad when you are here & we miss you when you are not!

Our daily prayers are with you as one journey has ended and another awaits.

Our love is with you & for you & on you, no matter the choices or the distance.

You are something special.  You have been bought with a price.  God has a tremendous and exciting plan made specifically for YOU.