Aunts & Uncles - A Family/Childhood Post

It seems appropriate, since I am currently soaking in time with my dear niece, Haley, & my dear nephew, Gabriel, to write a ditty about aunts & uncles & extended family in general.

I just LOVE being Aunt Wendy.
It's one of my favorite titles.

I used to have 2 nephews, just a few years older than my kids.  But when a divorce takes place, you sometimes lose 1/2 your family.  And that's what kinda happened to me.  So I had to wait to be an aunt again.

Then I married Kevin.  He has one niece & she's lovely, but she's married now.  I came into the family a little late to get to know his niece & his other sorta nieces & nephews, (I don't completely understand how it all works.)  So I had to wait to be an aunt again.

I should say that waiting to be an aunt is nothing like waiting to be a parent, I am sure!
But... in 2011 the waiting was over because God had picked a beautiful blonde boy for my older brother & his wife & my younger brother & his wife had a beautiful blonde girl just a few months later.
Yay, I am again Aunt Wendy.
(sidenote:  My dad is from Michigan, so he says "ant".  My nephew lives in Ohio, so he says "ant", but his dear mama taught him to say "aunt" for Meghan & I, since that's what we call it!)

So, for 4 days here in June I am reading books & tickling feet & patting heads & taking pictures & giving little gifts & taking walks & loving these two kiddos.

Actually, I take being an aunt very seriously.  I want my niece & nephew to know that their aunt LOVES them, that she just really takes joy in them.  I want to have fun and/or special experiences with them.  I want to be an important spiritual influence in their lives.

I have had some good examples!
I could easily give tribute to not just my aunts & uncles but my great aunts & uncles!!  Quite a few of my mother's aunts & uncles played very important roles in my life.

However, I want to pay a little tribute to my Sjoberg aunts & uncles.
This is not at all to say that my Foster aunts & uncles are not special & important to me.  I lived in Maine for my whole childhood so I had lots of time w/ Sjoberg family & not at much time with Foster family.  Even so, I had 4 sets of aunts & uncles in Michigan.  Uncle Leo & Aunt Barb helped me soo much with my Pearl Street home when we bought it.  Even recently the kids & I had such a nice visit, staying with Uncle Gary & Aunt Sarah Jane & seeing Uncle Dick & Aunt Judy.  I could really say a lot about my Aunt Sarah Jane because my uncle Gary has had Parkinson's Disease for over 20 years and their story as a couple is quite inspiring.

But for the purpose of this blog I will focus on my 4 sets of aunts & uncles on my Sjoberg side:

Uncle Paul & Aunt Marilyn

  Paul is my mom's older brother.  Their oldest son J.P. was in my grade in school, ever since they moved to Hodgdon when we were in grade 3.  When I was young - oh, maybe grade 3 or 4 or 5 - they took me on vacation with them!  Can you imagine?  We went to a cabin for the week & we visited Portland & I felt like part of their family.  :)  They have visited me in my various homes.  As a former homeschooler & teacher, Marilyn has lots of resources she has shared with me.  They have taken a real interest in my kids - motorcycle rides & gifts & swims in the pool & letters & love.  

Marilyn put this together, framed, with gifts of money from my dear cousins, after my divorce.  Paul & Marilyn have encouraged me spiritually & I am so thankful for the part they have played in my life.

Uncle David & Aunt Susie

Uncle David comes right after my mom, in birth order.  For two years of my childhood they lived right on our little, dead-end, dirt road, in my great-grandmother's house.  I babysat their kids.  They love me & they let me know it, a lot!  Probably a big part of our relationship is the fact that I lived with them for a few months in college.  They opened their home up to me & it was lovely to live with them & gain insight & have such special time with their kids.  They are fresh in my mind because I got to visit with them today!  And even today they spoke the truth of scripture & asked me.  I am so thankful for the part they have played in my life.  

Uncle Fred & Aunt Marilyn

disclaimer - I am getting more & more tired as I am writing this!!  This is not an exhaustive list of everything I love about my aunts & uncles & everything they have invested in me!!

Next comes Uncle Fred & yes, I have 2 Aunt Marilyns in my Sjoberg family.  So we always called this one "Fred's Marilyn" and the other one "Paul's Marilyn", or "Marilyn D." and "Marilyn H.", which confused me as a kid because I didn't understand which was which.  Uncle Fred was my math teacher when I was in high school.  I just adored his kids & after getting a great chat with Melena in PA sometime ago, I would say that I still really enjoy them!  Recently Aunt Marilyn contacted me about the possibility of going to a farm where they sell their own wool yarn.  Again, as a former homeschooler & teacher, they have shared resources.  When I was a newly single mom, Uncle Fred came down a lot and helped me with things around the house.  They sent me awesome packages in college with tons of goodies!  I am so thankful for the part they have played in my life.

Uncle Duane & Aunt Sheila

Last but not least, my mom's baby brother, Duane!  Duane used to give me sweet gifts when I was a girl.  Duane supported my efforts in basketball.  It has been a special thing that my children are about the same age as my Uncle Duane & Aunt Sheila's children!  Except for Uncle David - since I lived with him - I have stayed at Uncle Duane's the most, for two reasons.  One, he lives in the Portland area, but two, so our kids can have time together.  I've been able to glean a lot from Sheila b/c of the Bible studies she has done for so many years & because our kids are the same age & because she has been homeschooling for longer than I have.  I feel I can speak earnestly with both of them.  I am so thankful for the part they have played in my life!

Christian Summer Resources for Spiritual Development - A Parenting/Spiritual Life Post

Some of you readers in the blogosphere are parents.

I'd love to share some of my favorite resources with you.  

Perhaps God would have you implement something now that summer is here.  

1.  Secret Keeper Girl!!  

  Secret Keeper Girl is geared for girls ages 8-12 and their moms, with resources to encourage modesty, true beauty & friendship.  

www.secretkeepergirl.com

  The girls and I went through a total of 16 dates during 2 summers, shaped by SKG's "Great Dates for You & Your Daughters" resources.  Noelle & I also attended a SKG event for their Pajama Party tour, in Buffalo, NY.  

  I give SKG a score of 10 out of 10.  Not only is the material excellent, it is very easy to implement.  In fact, if anyone would like to borrow the SKG books I have, you are more than welcome to.  

  Besides 1 book of dates about friendship & 1 book about dates about modesty, I have the mother-daughter devotional book, 4 fiction books for tweens, plus...

2.  Dannah Gresh's books:

Six Ways to Keep the "Little" in Your Girl  and

Six Ways to Keep the "Good" in Your Boy.

These books are EASY & QUICK to read.  I would suggest if you have a boy or a girl from toddler up through even age 10-12, these books would be a great choice.  They are one of my TOP choices for parenting books.  The infamous "period party" (!!) I had for the girls came from this book, but don't let that scare you!!  (Yes, I took them to a hotel for an overnight & gave them "supplies" so they would be ready & talked about how we are fearfully & wonderfully made & how our cycles are not at ALL curses, but are, Lord willing, preparing us for motherhood someday.)  

3.  Passport to Purity.

Passport to Purity is a resource put out by Family Life Today & Dennis Rainey.  It's intended to use for a weekend away with your teen or preteen.  The theme verse is Colossians 1:18:

               "He is also head of the body, the church; and He is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead,

         so that He Himself will come to have first place in everything."  

I should add that as a pre-cursor to this weekend, the kids have been reading books from the "God's Design for Sex" series by Stan & Brenna Jones, since they were little.  So this information on sexual purity was not new to them.  Micah is the only left to do this & he will have his special weekend in the summer of 2014.  

   This is a bit of a heavy weekend, because there is a lot of material to go over.  It's kind-of like being at a conference.  But it's a special weekend & the material is excellent with fun & engaging object lessons to go with it.  The weekend ends with the children having a chance, if they want to, to sign a type of contract saying that they will date when their parents feel they are mature enough to.  We also chose to give the girls significant presents on these weekends.  They each received their first, "nice" Bible from us, one that should last them a long time.  So, Noelle was 11 when she did this weekend & Denali was 11 as well.  I think in today's society this is a good time to do this.  However, if your child is already 14 or 15, I would still do it, rather than not bother.  

4.  Jennie Bishop's The Squire & the Scroll & 

The Princess & the Kiss

Our "journey" of special events is rooted in these books and the corresponding devotionals/"Life lessons" books that come with them.  

The theme verse for the squire/boy book is:

                   "How can a young man keep his way pure?  By living according to Your word."

                        -Psalm 119:9

The theme verse for the princess/girl book is:

                     "Love... comes from a pure heart & a good conscience & a sincere faith."

                             -1 Timothy 1:5

These books are for younger kids & focus on purity & a pure heart.  We ended up having a blessing ceremony, (I have no pictures of Micah's, b/c it was a "guy" thing, but there was a sword & ice fishing & some other men there!).  This inspired a yearly event for the girls called the "Wise Women" event.  It is small & seemingly insignificant, but the goal is to let the girls know that they are surrounded by godly women who love them & who they can look to for support & advice, beyond me as their mom.  The same intention is for Micah.  He just began last year, and will continue this fall with a hunting-themed event.  At each event the kids receive a meaningful gift which we believe will further their spiritual training.  

5.  The National Bible Bee

This resource can be a little overwhelming.  However, if you give yourself some grace & cut yourself some slack, we think it is an excellent resource for Bible memory & inductive Bible study.  We have only competed 2 times, but this is our 4th time getting the materials and Noelle & Micah are planning on competing this year.  I should add a quick plug for the school-year program 6. AWANA, which is the best Scripture-memory resource I know!

7.  Thriving Family Summer Calendar

It can be overwhelming to think about doing ALL of these things, but these are SIMPLE, simple ideas that are easy to implement.  Even doing one a week makes a difference.  Thriving Family also puts out an advent calendar.  We've done the suggested activities & lessons for the past 2 Decembers and have found them informative & helpful.  

This summer the theme is "Around the World in 60 Days."

check out Thriving Family online to get the info.

8.  Adventures in Odyssey

An oldie but a goodies is Adventures in Odyssey.  I have mentioned it 1,000 times, but check it out!  Listen online, buy the CDs, borrow them, listen on a local radio station.  I would say that from age 7 or so on, they are interesting.  Our family especially liked the mystery & intrigue in the "Green Ring Conspiracy" set as well as the "Novacom" set.  

9.  books for preteens/teens:

My FAVORITE "becoming a teen" book is So You're About to be a Teenager by Dennis & Barbara Rainey.  An easy read, both of the girls have read it and learned a lot.

We also have done some of Preparing for Adolescence by Dr. James Dobson and corresponding CDs and workbooks.  To be honest, we got sort of bogged down with it as it's a bit textbook-y compared the Dennis Rainey one.  

For older kids & teens, although Noelle is currently reading it, Do Hard Things by Alex & Brett Harris.  This is an inspiring book about a teenage rebellion against low expectations.

Also Don't Check Your Brains at the Door  by Josh McDowell.  Both girls have read that as well.

10.  Church

Getting plugged in to a youth group and/or a Sunday School class is particularly important as they get older.

I will close with the idea of just having "Bible time", "devotions", "quite time", whatever you want to call it - with your kids!  This does NOT have to be fancy or perfect, (I think we've covered being perfect in another post!).  We started with reading books like Jonah & Ruth & Esther & Genesis together.  We often read a Proverb or a Psalm together.  We take advantage of little devotionals that we've been given, like Keys for Kids or Wonder Book ones.  Just ten mintues, TEN mintues, can make a difference!  Pray together, sing together, if you want, read together & discuss.  

I would love to hear of some resources that YOU use.  I'm so thankful that I've been blessed with an abundance of resources.  Again, don't get bogged down.  Choose ONE thing that seems like it might work for you & go for it!

Waiting for Perfect - A Wendy Post

Do you find yourself waiting for things to be "more perfect"?  

Does the desire & drive for an idealized life, life as you have always pictured it, keep you from capitalizing on the little moments that come your way?

When things are cleaner?
When I am skinnier?
When we have more money?
When we have more space?
When we're not so busy?
When I feel better?

I can't invite my neighbors over for a BBQ yet!  I will someday..
... when we build the fire ring & then it will be just so perfect & cozy for roasting hot dogs & marshmallows.  All we have right now is a little 1.5 foot diameter ring of rocks.
... when I lose more weight, after all, then I'll feel more comfortable to just "be me" and to wear clothes that I like better
... when my yardwork is done!  Goodness, I don't want people to see moose jaws & goat poop & broken toys!  My goodness, what would they think?!?
... maybe next month I'll have extra money & I can buy the choicest steaks & pork tenderloin and even though I feel prompted to do it today, we were only going to have spaghetti tonight and...

Ephesians 5 talks about making the most of our time.

"Don't wait until everything is just right.  It will never be perfect.  There will always be challenges, obstacles & less than perfect conditions.  So what.  Get started now..." -Mark Victor Hansen

As a counselor told me once, "Wendy, no one is on 'Plan A'."
~So you're on 'Plan B' or C or Q...
~So you yearn for the Pinterest Perfect Life,
where Sweet Sixteens look so darn perfect and who wouldn't want to use old farm boards to make amazingly cool furniture and where my little offerings seem so small and well, insignificant in comparison.

Ahhh, so comparison seeps in.
And as we all know, (Heidi Roseman), Comparison Destroys Contentment.  

So, even if it rains...

Even if your garden is small & rocky...

Even if you have to celebrate on a different day...

And even when your darn stove isn't working again & wouldn't a new one be SO nice?

Even when you make mistakes...

Even when it is not perfect... 

Try.  Go for it.  Do something smaller.  Accept.

Or you might miss catching fireflies.

(because the dishes aren't done or the clothes aren't just right or the hair is sticking up)