An Honest Review of 'Unwrapping the Greatest Gift' by Ann Voskamp

I'm kind-of a shove-the-square-peg-into-the-round-hole kinda person sometimes.  #MustMakeItFit. (By the way, that quality is really only helpful when you work hard to make your marriage work, or are tenacious about something that needs to work- like a sport, or losing weight, or chores!)

This was our first Christmas season reading from Ann Voskamp's beautifully illustrated book, Unwrapping the Greatest Gift. We've read each day's reading.
 I didn't really like it!
 

This isn't like seeing Kirk Cameron's 'Saving Christmas' 'movie', (and I clearly use that term loosely).  I had wanted to like that, but I didn't even have to get half way through when I thought, "WHY did I pay to see this!?"  (Basically, it was a Sunday School lesson.  Not a movie!)  I knew right away that I didn't care for 'Saving Christmas.'  I was a bit more stubborn about trying to like Unwrapping the Greatest Gift.

Now- I don't hate it!  I may use it again!  But it is far from a great children's resource, in my opinion.  I'm writing my review because I would hate to have a parent make a real effort toward devotions, trying to making their home the primary place where faith is nurtured, only to have a poor experience with this particular resource, and to give up entirely.  

I believe I am in the minority in not particularly caring for this book.  And by all means, if this book works for your family, helps you celebrate Christ in Christmas & draws you close to Him, that is exciting!  For me, I had never even heard of a Jesse Tree until recently.  I researched it and found it's a Catholic tradition.  However, my husband and mother-in-law had never heard of it either. 

Last year, on Facebook, two of my dear friends posted a lot about Voskamp's Unwrapping the Greatest Gift.  Based on these postings I had the impression it was a book for children, (Based on her book for adults, The Greatest Gift), perhaps even quite young children.  Well, I happen to know & believe that great children's books aren't just for children.  So at an after-Christmas sale I bought three:  One for us, and one for each of my brothers, who have small children.  I love family devotions.  I love books.  I love children's books.  I love Jesus coming to earth.  I love traditions.  I was excited to try out this book for Christmas 2015. 

I love the concept of this book, I just don't happen to love it.  The wording is clumsy and not easy to absorb or even read aloud.  (As someone who has read many, many books aloud, this style did not lend itself well to that.)  I would be surprised if young children can even understand much of it, much less absorb it, which is the whole point.  The sentences were complicated and long.  If I tried this book with young children, I would find myself altering it and shortening it greatly, making it almost unrecognizable.  I'm not sure that much of it 'jumped off the page' for my children, who are 12 & 14 years old.  Some parts did for me, when I was the one reading it, and could re-read sentences that were wordy & required me to fully focus and figure out what was being said.  

I like:  "Your eyes were formed to be awed by the art of every wonder-laced snowflake and the carving of every swirl of frost and the sculpting of every cresting snowdrift.  And then to see it- God's own signature in the corner of everything."  As well as plenty of other parts.  But, in my opinion, it is not worded for most children.  (And my children have great comprehension & love to read.  Even so..)

I will say that Unwrapping the Greatest Gift has beautiful illustrations.  It's truly a gorgeous book.

I also like the whole idea of beginning with Creation.  The first time I remember hearing about this concept was the Firm Foundations curriculum by New Tribes Mission, and I thought it was a great idea.  Good Seed Publications puts out an adult book, On the Road to Emmaus, which is the same idea.  I do believe that everything points to Christ and I like reading Old Testament stories with this lens.  I like tracing Jesus' lineage.  I just wish the book were far simpler. 

I liken this book to kind-of putting me back at PCB in Dr. Toews' Poetics class, learning about A-lines & B-lines & meter & form & patterns.  I was a confused freshman in that class and I think it just caught me at the wrong time in my college life. 

Perhaps it's because poems and lyrical-style writing do not resonate with me.  Or at least, not at where I am in my current season of life.  To be clear:  Unwrapping the Greatest Gift is not a poem.  But the wording reminded me of a poem.  It is somewhat abstract.  And flowery.  And sometimes kind-of made-up or added to?? 

"The Son-King Jesus, who laid out the paths for all the stars, chose to fold Himself up small and lie in the space of Mary"  What?  First of all, the term 'Son-King' is used many times in  this book, but when read aloud sounds like 'Sun-King', which my children found odd.  

If you like it- great!  Just don't feel trapped and like you should like something, just because it seems like all of Christendom does.  I've seen several people recommend, instead of Unwrapping the Greatest Gift, using Sally Lloyd-Jones's Jesus Story Book Bible instead, even though it is not specifically an Advent themed book.  The writing, according to others, is better suited for children.

CHRIST in CHRISTmas. Ideas. Part 2

Part 1 is found here: http://carmelhillbillies.blogspot.com/2015/12/christ-in-christmas-sort-of-part-1.html
"Love Jesus the way He asks you to. Don't worry about the formulas or making Jesus part of the season too much. If Jesus is important to your heart, He will be foremost in the Advent/ Christmas season."

Part 2:  I asked friends, family & acquaintances about how they keep CHRIST in CHRISTmas.  Here are some ideas:

1. "Our church bought Advent devotionals, boughs, decorations & candles for each family to make their own Advent wreath.  This was the jump start that got us started on year-round devotions.  If we slacked off on devotions, the Advent wreath got us back on track each year."  I love this.  Yes, parents must have a vested interest, but I know in my own life I have benefited greatly from resources and nudges from others.
2. Have manger scenes be the focus of your Christmas decor, along with other pieces that point to Christ.  Some families have an expensive manger scene that they add a piece to each year.  (Oh, wouldn't I love a Willow Tree one!!)  Have at least one manger scene that children can play with.  Fisher-Price Little People set.  Homemade wooden blocks with figures painted on them.  Stuffed animal creche.  There are many options.  The goal is so that when someone enters your home they know Who is being celebrated. 
3. Read Luke 2.  This was mentioned a lot.  Other Scriptures too, including Isaiah's prophecies.  Many people responded that before presents could be opened, prayer was said & Luke 2 was read.
4. Giving.  Helping others is how we show the love of Christ.  Bake & give gifts to neighbors, friends & family.  Be intentional about getting to know neighbors.  Have the children make homemade cards for them.  Help those less fortunate.  Make a difference within your own community in a way that costs each person.  One teacher shared that instead of a classroom Christmas party, her class was donating to and volunteering at a food pantry.  (Great idea.)  Buy items for Samaritan's Purse & put a representation of these gifts under the tree.  Sacrifice your gifts to each other & instead donate that money to an organization such as Samaritan's Purse.  One mom came up with the idea of having a sign that said, "What Can I Give the King?"  From it hang pouches with the children's names on them.  When it is noticed that a child is making God's heart happy by being kind or unselfish, $1 goes in the pouch.  At Christmas, this money is used for Heifer International or another worthy organization.  Discuss what presents Jesus received & compare that to what we get today.  Put your manger scene under the tree because Christ's birth is the best gift of all.  Focus more on the giving than the receiving.  Emphasize that we have gifts because God gave us Jesus, (the Greatest Gift.)  Talk about the gifts we'd like to give Jesus this coming year:  Perhaps a better attitude, work ethic, more giving, less selfishness.  There are several versions of giving three gifts like the magi did.  Some children each receive three gifts on Christmas morning.  Some get three gifts:  One that they want, one that they need & one that will hep them grow spiritually or educationally.  For some families, because of work schedules or plans with extended family, the gift-giving is separate from Christmas, which helps get the focus off "us" and on to Christ. 
5. Christmas Eve service at church.  Christmas messages in the Sundays leading up to Christmas help prepare our hearts.  Attending a candlelight Christmas Ever service, no matter where you are, is meaningful.  Some people want a Christmas Eve service that will serve communion. In addition to the Christmas Eve service, children's Christmas programs are very meaningful and leave an impression on both those who participate and the audience.  
6. Christmas Carols & Songs.  Sung at church & in your home & listened to.  Caroling house to house or in nursing homes.
7. Advent Devotionals.  There are many, but several were mentioned by name:  Anne Hewitt advent cards which are progressive in their reading.  Unwrapping the Greatest Gift, (child or adult version), by Ann Voskamp.  What God Wants for Christmas, put out by Family Life.  Family Celebrations:  Meeting Christ in Your Holidays & Family Celebrations by Ann Hibbard, involving a reading, a hymn & an ornament.  Thriving Family devotionals.  Not a Silent Night by Adam Hamilton.  This idea was particular touching because the family has a college student away at school.  The student has a copy of the book & reads on her own & whenever she can she skypes with the family to have a group devotional time.  Many families are using their own.  A few verses each day.  For little children, children's books that tell the story of the 3 Trees, or the story of Mary, etc.  Last year our family had the theme of Jesus as the Light of the World.  We made candles & sang songs & read verses that were about that theme.  Before that we did the names of God.  'Ever Thine Home' sells themed ornaments and decorations.  Their new item this year is Jesus' name in many languages.  Several ideas involve a 'Creation to the Cross' family devotional and/or a Jesse Tree.  Typically in an Advent wreath, one candle is added every week.
8. One mom came up with one herself.  In fact, she had never heard of a Jesse Tree.  (I don't think I'm supposed to have 'favorites' among all the ideas I was given, but this may be it!)  "We do a mini tree with ornaments I made that represent stories chronologically in the Bible. We called it The Waiting Tree because since Adam people have waited for the Messiah to be born. Each day we told one story and hung that ornament on The Waiting Tree."
9. Birthday Cake for Jesus. 
10. Act out the Christmas story.  In your home.  At church.  In a pageant.  Go to live nativities & plays.  Do it with puppets, with toys.  Have your kids write and act out a version. 
11. Family activities, that sometimes go along with the devotional.  Baby Jesus & Advent- centered crafts. 
12. One creative mom made snowflakes to adhere to a tree, (red twigs in a Mason jar.)  Daily her family will write on a snowflake something that is true about God and put the snowflake on the tree. 
13. A couple of families mentioned adopting Jewish traditions.  One family has incorporated a menorah, to better understand the Jewish heritage that makes up the foundation of our faith.  One family is going to celebrate the Feast of Tabernacles next year, hopefully even building a booth in their yard, because their research shows that this is the time of year more likely to have been when Christ was born.  They anticipate joy at eliminating the distractions of Christmas-time and focusing on Him during the week long feast.  
14. One family has a Christmas tree with stuffed lambs under it, as a reminder that Jesus is the Lamb of God.
15. One family adds hay to a manger for 23 days and on the 24th day baby Jesus arrives in the manger.  
16. Being thankful.  Thankful for Jesus.  Thankful that we have been blessed by others.  Write thank you notes together as a family.  
17. Emphasize hope, peace, love & joy.  Lose the hype.  Keep it small, simple & sentimental.  Be intentional about making Christmas less commercial.  Don't get caught up in the rush and urgency.  
 

Even when Christ was not especially emphasized in homes, there was a general understanding that all of parties & the special food & the decorations & the presents- was happening because of a big spiritual event.  

Hope you've found an idea or two that resonates with you.

Merry Christmas!

CHRIST in CHRISTmas. Sort of. Part 1.

Her eyes immediately welled up with tears that spilled over.  She clenched her fists & with anger said, "No!  I don't have anything to do with Christmas!  It's just another day."

I had wished a housekeeper a 'Merry Christmas.'  I had volunteered for a Christmas morning shift and was trying to spread some cheer.  She sounded angry but what I saw was hurt.

Recently a tenant told me that he hated Christmas.  He hated the cold.  He hated going into debt because of obligations to buy gifts for people he doesn't care about.

A former co-worker was extremely excited at Black Friday time to scoop up all kinds of things for her teenage son.  This frenzy lasted up til Christmas and she frequently told me about what she had purchased:  The latest game consul & hundreds of dollars of games, expensive sneakers, the list went on & on.  In the New Year, this same co-worker was burdened with debt and complained and stressed about trying to pay off all that she had purchased for her son. 

These sentiments are not typical nor representative of most of the people I hang about with or know.  I perceive that my family, friends, and acquaintances on the whole love Christmas.  That is truly is the most wonderful time of the year.   

Even so, there can be no doubt that the Christmas experiences my children enjoy look quite different than the ones their grandparents enjoyed, (if they even did), and even different than my childhood ones.  The length of the season, points of interest & focus, special events, presents- these things shift with the decades.

Our first year of marriage my husband, 40+ years old, said to me, "My whole life I thought that Christmas was one day.  With you, it's a month long!"

Christmas itself can be confusing.  As a beloved character in Jelly Telly's 'Buck Denver:  Why Do We Call it Christmas?' asks, when told he can watch a Christmas DVD:  Which Christmas?  The one about Jesus or the one about Santa?  

And even in that, things can be confusing.  I personally did not grow up with an emphasis on Santa, nor did my children.  I never believed in him, but I did enjoy pretending about him.  Other Christians are even more strict about keeping Santa out of Christmas.  And yet, when my mom was a child, it was very common for a Santa to come to the church and be part of the celebration.
There are a lot of mixed messages.

As a 23-year-old I was boarding with a kind lady from church.  She introduced me to something I had never even heard of!  The 12 Days of Christmas!  (Now, yes, I knew the song.  But this was pre-wikipedia.  Had it occurred to me to be curious about the origins of the song, I would have had to tramp to the house of someone who owned an Encyclopedia, get the 'C' book off the shelf & perhaps I would have been more informed.  As it turned out, I was not curious.)  This was a perfect example of one deficit my non-denominational, New England background had given me:  A vacuum of liturgy.  Communal response & ritual were not part of my life & once I got past the 'Catholic-ness' of them, they became & still are a source of wonderment to me, dripping with meaning & symbolism, and although still not very much a part of my personal experience, very precious.

A few weeks ago, caught up in the whirl of Advent, I contacted a number of people, with the intent to write a post about ways to keep Christ in Christmas.  And I shall do that post, but this really isn't it.

The responses fell into a few categories, one being an uncertainty that the responder had anything meaningful to add.
Because Christ is Lord 365 days a year, not just at Christmas.  This low-key approach, these responses kind-of surprised me, slightly at least.  I have tried so hard to make this season memorable and deeply meaningful, alert to any and every thing that would point to Christ.So worried that Christ will be forgotten that sometimes things end up being forced and/or fake.

There is a calmness that comes with less striving.  This response is a good summary:  "... I think the most important part about teaching our children about Christmas is having Christ as the center of your heart and lives every day, not just at Christmas time. Each day we rejoice in the fact that we have been given salvation, grace and eternal live and help along the way, and Christmas is a special time to celebrate that. In our home, now and also when I grew up, we enjoyed the traditional Christmas things, the music, the movies of Rudolph and Santa Claus, but what is most important is teaching our children to give and to reflect on the true meaning of Christmas by teaching it at home, by attending Christmas programs at church that set our reflection on Christ and candlelight services singing Christmas carols of Jesus birth, sending Christmas cards that share scripture and Christ' birth."  

Another person mentioned family time and said, "Nothing super religious, but all very godly in that it draws us together and fills our love tanks in a godly way." 

I got to thinking.
How was Christ in the Christmas of my childhood?
Which led me to thinking about the Christmases of my childhood.  Our childhoods are so very important- crucial to who we become.  They can be overcome, but not easily.  It's quite possible that the tenant and housekeeper I spoke of in the beginning of this post, are carrying childhood hurts that haven't yet been resolved or healed.

What does Christmas mean for me?  What does it mean for my children?  What will they remember as the precious moments?  What did I, what do I love about Christmas?

I hadn't asked my friends these questions, but the answers to the one I did ask led me in that direction anyway.

Knowing that Christ was part of our daily lives, and fully knowing that Christ was central in Christmas,
For me, Christmas was:

• Family.  Every single Christmas of my childhood and almost every Christmas until I married my husband- afternoons and evenings were spent on the farm.  (Okay.  Kinda crying now!)  Yes, we got presents, yes we did a devotional & sometimes sang songs.  But it wasn't over-scheduled, (as can be my tendency.)  It was a big family meal for lunch.  Even better, snack-ier meal for supper.  Playing with cousins.  Rosettes.  Accordions & guitars. Simply magical.
• Music.  Playing records while decorating the tree.  Singing songs with family and at church.  Caroling.  
• Presents, (of course.)  Giving & Receiving.  Stockings.  Giving to neighbors.  
• Coziness.  Sitting by the Christmas tree with the lights.  Usually reading.
• Church Christmas Programs.  Memorizing our lines for a play and/or pieces and/or songs.  Sometimes costumes.  Oh, how I love a good Christmas program.
• Surprises.  
• The Tree.  Ornaments from Nancy.
• Word of Life Christmas productions.  I may have only been to one or two, but they were quite elaborate.  Plus, we had the records so I listened & memorized all the songs & parts. 
• School break!  Probably the downtime, although I perceived it very differently as a carefree child than I do now.  (I don't ever remember feeling very stressed about life!)
• Snow.  Most of the time.

 Christmas is:

• Family.  Our little unit & time with extended family, although never on Christmas.  The joy of my children & my husband.  Time together.  This 'Quality Time' Mama likes to ice skate, play games & watch movies with her family.
• Being intentional about Advent/ devotionals/ emphasizing the real meaning of Christmas.  
• Presents & Surprises.  How fun is it to surprise our children & loved ones.  To love on others- friends, neighbors & those less fortunate.  
• Christmas movies!  White Christmas.  The Homecoming.  Elf.  It's a Wonderful Life.  
• Coziness.  In our little corner of Carmel.
• Christmas Eve services.  
• The Tree.
• Our traditions:  Gingerbread houses.  Advent calendars.  Christmas cookies.  Operation Christmas Child shoeboxes. Giving our pets stockings.  Getting & decorating the tree.  Making gifts.  

I asked my children what Christmas means to them.
Noelle responded by asking me a question:  "Well, do you want to know which was my favorite?"  Her favorite is the Christmas that we didn't have gifts beyond stockings.  The Christmas that we 'gave away' our Christmas to Samaritan's Purse.  (See story here:  http://carmelhillbillies.blogspot.com/2013/11/operation-christmas-child-samaritans.html )  I have heard her mention multiple times that she wants her children to have Christmases where they don't receive anything.  This Christmas, she wants to pass out hot coffee to people in downtown Bangor.  That Christmas made a deep impression on all of us.

They mentioned the homemade cinnamon buns.  Movies.  Decorations.  The Cozy-Christmasy feeling you get when you are snuggled on the couch with hot chocolate.  The anticipation.

In a way, all these things point to Christ, in addition to being wholesome experiences and activities and items.  When we feel the belonging-ness of family, we know what it means to belong in God's family.  When we spend time together as a family, it teaches us that time spent with God draws us closer to Him.  When we give out of a heart of love, it's because He gave to us and showed us how to give & love.  When we excitedly anticipate Christmas, we reflect the joy & emotion of God, and we understand what it means to anticipate the 2nd Coming of Christ.

And for those to whom Christmas represents hurt.  Disappointment.  Pain.  We can do our best to show love, which is exactly what Christ did when He chose to be born of a virgin, into this hurting world, to show His love for us and rescuing us from forever disappointment & pain.

"Love Jesus the way He asks you to.  Don't worry about the formulas or making Jesus part of the season too much.  If Jesus is important to your heart, He will be foremost in the Advent/ Christmas season."  (from a friend.)

The Spiritual Growth of Children; Faith at Home.

I am passionate about making our home the primary place where faith is nurtured.  Here is the story of my personal journey:

"...You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. These words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand and they shall be as frontals on your forehead. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates..."  -Deuteronomy 6

(Stop.  Feel like a failure in this area?  Keep reading anyway.  Don't give up because you don't do it perfectly or often enough.  None of us do it perfectly.  The easiest thing is to use teachable moments that already exist.)

6 years ago I attended, with my good friend, Lynne, a Focus on the Family simulcast on parenting.  I came home & shared this on Facebook:  "WOW!! Matthew West, Mark Holmen & Larry Fowler!! I am very intrigued by Mark Holmen's ministry, The Faith Begins at Home Movement. My head is very full of challenges, Scripture, ideas, etc. It's been a really good day."

I learned about churched kids leaving the faith & I learned about some reasons why people believe that it is happening.  I learned that many of our Christian homes are often 2-3 generations away from families who read the Word together, serve together & pray together.  I learned that families are farming out the spiritual growth of their children to the church instead of using the church as a supplement.

Before this simulcast I had never heard of the Faith at Home movement.  I didn't know that it was a 'thing.'  However, I was raised in a home where faith was nurtured.  God had guided me as a new mom, a happily married mom, a single mom & a stepmom to nurture my children's faith- I just didn't know there was a movement- a name.  

• Fewer than 10% of parents who regularly attend church with their kids read the Bible together, pray together (other than at meal times) or participate in an act of service as a family unit. 
• Only 28% of churched youth have talked with mum about faith. 
• Only 13% of churched youth have talked with dad about faith. 
• 69-94% of evangelical children are leaving the church shortly after they finish high school.

Actually, I didn't believe all of these statistics.  (We were given many more than this.)  I grew up in a home where we did have family devotions.  We did Keys for Kids, put out by Children's Bible Hour.  We read from the Bible before the morning bus came, usually from the New Living Translation.  We were encouraged & equipped to have our own quiet time.

After devouring resources that I had purchased at the simulcast and after a lot of prayer & guidance, I worked on implementing these concepts into my ministry at church.  But first I had to see what was true for the families in my church.  Where were they at & in what areas did they need and/or want some help.  I surveyed our small group of families and here are just some of the answers they shared:

When asked about family devotions:

1. "I bought a 'devotions over dinner' book & have cracked the spine only once in 2 months... not exactly what I had in mind when I bought it in a flurry of piousness."
2. "My biggest hope for my kids is that they will naturally want to be with God, even when they are teenagers.  Getting them there is what I need help with."  
3. "I am failing with devotions because of:  Time, How to do it 'right', I don't want to offend my unbelieving partner & my own struggle with meaningful devotion time."
4. "I am trying to live the Word, but I don't support it by verbalizing the principles aloud so that I can make a clear connection between the two."
5. "I lose teachable moments because I am angry or disappointed."  (Oh goodness this resonates with me.)
6. "There is always something more pressing that takes the place of family devotions." 
7. "Establishing a routine is really hard."
8. "God-inspired words do not come to me when they should, likely because of a lack of time spent in the Word."
9. "There are times when I want to convey a principle but don't have the 'kid-friendly' version to draw on, leaving me blank & groping."
10. "A hindrance is a lack of interest on my part as the dad."
11. "The biggest block for me is my own discipline and inconsistency and sometimes their lack of interest and some trial & error to see what captures their attention."
12. "Life has become so fractured.  There is only so much we can do."  (Oh, don't we all feel that way.  So, so busy.  They tyranny of the immediate.)

I am convinced that parents want good things for their children.  They want their kids to love God, and they expect that their kids will grow up to stay involved in church & have a growing relationship with God.  But they have no action plan and really aren't doing anything to make sure they meet their goal.

Time is a huge issue.  People are busy & there's rarely an opportunity to experience God's presence or see God at work when life is very, very busy.  One must be very intentional about loving God & knowing Him oneself & then impressing that on our children.  It's not going to happen by accident & we aren't going to suddenly find extra time to do it.  We have to make it happen.  "Too many parents are lulled to sleep during the tranquil elementary years.  Unaware of the approaching perils of adolescence and how quickly they arise."  -Dennis Rainey.

Often parents think that it's the church's job, or the Christian school's job.  Unconsciously, I think, many have seen children's programs as an opportunity to pass on the faith-nurturing responsibilities to the church.  I am so thankful for the church's role in our lives.  We need the church.  We are taught, encouraged, chastened.  We experience community.  I want the church, my church, to come along side me in the spiritual training of my children.  And it does.  But God designed parents to influence and train their children.  Service to the Lord naturally flows out of love for Him. 

Many parents aren't sure how to be primary faith influencers, particularly if they did not grow up in a home where faith was nurtured, particularly through family devotions.  Many truly have no idea what it looks like to teach their children how to relate to God.  Some of the problems that some families face in this area are a direct reflections of the less-than-all commitment that the parents have made to the Lord.  Many families 'play Christians' on Sunday morning but they don't want to be Christians the rest of the week.

Pause.  Having family devotions isn't a golden ticket to get children to grow up and live for Christ.  We each make our own choices.  Also, none of us is living a perfect life is this.  GRACE.

When children grow up thinking that church/God/Christianity is something we do at certain times with certain people in certain places, as opposed to having it permeate their lives~ they will live a warped, individualistic, self-serving form of Christianity.  They'll make decisions based on feelings rather than truth.  They'll embrace all philosophies and religions as equally true.

But if every Christian intentionally & effectively equipped the generations, it would be an undeniable legacy causing a massive cultural shift from the tolerant, humanistic, godless & compartmentalized present to a radically different God-honoring future. 

So- how?  How do we make our home the primary place that faith is nurtured?  How do we aid in the spiritual growth of our children?  First- we love God & know him ourselves.  Spend time in the Word ourselves, and in prayer.  Second, to express it very simply- We read the Word to our children.  We pray with them.  We take every day, ordinary things and we connect them to God.  We make our faith, our Christianity, something we do in ALL places with ALL people at ALL times.

The resource I found the most helpful was a short little book:  Faith Begins at Home by Mark Holmen.  I highly recommend it. 

Second to that book, I recommend Shift by Brian Haynes.  

Your Family Journey A Guide to Building Faith at Home is a companion book to Faith Begins at Home and I have found it very helpful. 

Because I also had ministry in mind, I've also enjoyed & gleaned from:  Think Orange by Reggie Joiner.  Building Faith at Home by Mark Holmen, Take it Home:  Inspiration & Events to Help Parents Spiritually Transform Their Children by Mark Holmen, Perspectives on Family Ministry by Paul Renfro, Brandon Shields & Jay Strother & Collaborate by Michael Chanley & a bunch of other people.  

I have shared in previous blog posts about some of my favorite resources and ways to nurture faith in my children, so I won't repeat all of that here, but rather focus on devotions.  Call it whatever you want to:  Quiet Time, Time in the Word, Faith Talks.

(Some of my favorites:  Passport to Purity.  Secret Keeper Girl.  Bible Bee.  AWANA.  So You're About to Be a Teenager by Rainey.  Adventures in Odyssey.  And all kinds of devotionals.)
http://carmelhillbillies.blogspot.com/2013/06/christian-summer-resources-for.html

Back to my journey:  I've had many talks with people at church about... cloth diapers, potty training, feeding my baby, the best age to begin music lessons, schooling choices, etc.  These were all good.  I needed and still need that community.  However, as a fairly young mom, only a few conversations were about how I can- or my husband & I can- spiritually mentor our children.  I don't think it's because people don't care, but I do believe it's because it's considered too personal, because people have failed in this themselves, or because they just don't feel equipped.

When my kids were little I had & used many resources for Bible stories, family devotions, prayer time, object lessons, etc.  When Kevin & I got married our kids were ages 4, 6 & 7.  We did mainly devotional books.  Then we had the girls do the CEF devotionals that were given out in Sunday School.

All this time God was working in my heart, and Kevin's too, and we moved closer & closer to where I stand today on family Faith Talks & parents being intentional about being the primary faith-influencers of their children.  We started reading to them directly out of the Bible, starting with stories like Ruth, Esther & Jonah.  The girls did the Bible bookmarks that we handed out through Sunday School.

It was through the encouragement of my friend, Susan, that I was challenged even further.  Her boys had their own personal devotions every morning.  So, when the kids were 6, 8 & 9 they began having their own personal devotions.  Not every day, but most weekdays.  I was already 'bent' to be intentional in this area, but the encouragement of a friend spurred me on further.  In fact, that's why I am writing this post.  That's why I've given out many, many devotionals to kids.  That's why when I was in charge of Sunday School we had special lessons on devotions.  This sort of 'coincidental' talk with my friend about personal devotions was a defining moment for me.  It happened before I had ever heard of 'Faith at Home', and even though we had been nurturing faith, the intentionality in our home changed dramatically.  I am so grateful that she encouraged me that my children were old enough & that she even provided me with a devotional that her boys were done with. 

We continued on with family devotions, sometimes using the Odyssey CD's, sometimes a holiday-related devotional & sometimes a family devotional.  Then our family also participated in the National Bible Bee, doing an inductive study on Colossians as a family.  Actually, we did the Bible Bee several times.

Note:  Not once did we complete the Bible Bee material.  Not once did we get through even close to the amount of material that I wanted to.  Don't be discouraged when you don't finish the book.  When someone is cranky or you have to make it happen.  Just do what you can do.

"On our own", (but not really, because God was guiding us), we implemented many things before I had ever heard of the "Faith at Home" movement. God clearly directed me and when I heard about the Faith at Home movement, I was excited.  It was validating.  I couldn't wait to learn more & do more & we did.

It's been 6 years since that simulcast.  I hope that I will be found faithful.  It's been messy & imperfect ~just like everything else in our lives!!  We have used Manga Bibles & Christian magazines & each child has received a very special Bible of their own during their Passport to Purity weekends.  We have read every type of devotional you can imagine.  We have read Mark as a family while our pastor is speaking on Mark.  We have been greatly blessed by serving together. 
http://carmelhillbillies.blogspot.com/2014/03/the-service-we-offer-others-parenting.html

Currently, it is hard to find time for family devotions.  Noelle, Micah & I have devotions together most days on our drive to school.  (Hey- you have got to use the time that you have- and that is where & when we have the most time- in the vehicle.)  My kids have been having their own personal devotions for years and the benefits are rooted in them deeply.  We typically have family devotions on Saturdays or Sundays.  I encourage you to read Faith Begins at Home.  And I encourage you to do what you can.  

Celebrate Halloween??

Celebrate Halloween?  Probably not. 
Participate in trick-or-treating & community?  Yes.

I grew up in a fairly conservative family & community.  (for which I am thankful.)  I mean, we didn't go to movies or dances.  We didn't play with playing cards.  But.. we did go trick-or-treating.  And, we often dressed in ghost & witch costumes, mostly b/c that's what we had.  Plus, it was easier to cover the 2 layers of long underwear one needed in order to trick-or-treat in Aroostook County at the end of October!  I'm quite certain that my grandparents, who handed out pencils, and my great Uncle Glenn & others did not see anything wrong with trick-or-treating.  Or no one would have done it!

However, while I was in college I became aware of the dark things that happen during Halloween.  I believe these things truly happen & obviously I want no part in them.  So at that time I decided that my children would not go trick-or-treating. 

For those who have also decided that, and kept with it, I totally understand why.  I don't understand why houses seem to now be decorated more for Halloween than for Christmas.  I'm not a fan of scary costumes & decor.  I've even had to draw a line with invitations we have received & have had to say 'no' to something that used Satanic symbols and seemed too dark. 

When Noelle was 2 years old and Micah was about 2 months old we bought a house & moved to Pearl Street.  We had neighbors who enjoyed watching our children swing & draw with chalk.  We lived fairly close to our neighbors and they all knew that every Sunday morning & every Sunday night we left our home, dressed up. 

When I started living in a community, it changed my view of trick-or-treating.
I saw that Halloween was a way that I could connect with my neighborhood.  Kids were coming to my door & I could give them unique treats, plus a tract about Christ.  I think there has only been one time I've been home for trick-or-treaters, b/c we've always been out, but that year I gave out crayons &
pencils & stickers & erasers & tracts.  

Halloween is National Evangelism Day b/c people are coming to YOU!  If you give out tracts at Halloween, you should give the best treats on your street!  My kids no longer trick-or-treat, but we always loved small bags of chips, gummies, pencils & stickers.

My next-door neighbor invited us in for a party!  This was the real eye-opener for me!  Our first invitation to come in & it was for a Halloween party!  Now, I'm really awkward at parties!  Probably everywhere there are people, but especially at parties!  But I went, with my children, because these neighbors who knew we were Christians, I wanted to show love & friendliness to them.  Our other next-door neighbors bought special presents for my kids!  So when I came to their door, both Noelle & Micah had a special bag just full of stuff!  Some friends at work did a similar thing,years later, plastic pumpkins filled with goodies for all 3 kids. 

And so... we trick-or-treated.  We met our neighbors.  We enjoyed the fun.  We did 'Sight Night', collecting used glasses for the needy.  We used the hard candy we received for our Operation Christmas Child shoeboxes.  We saved our mini m&m's for Christmas cookies.  We used candy for our gingerbread houses.  We threw candy away!  We learned self-regulation. 

We had a blast pretending.  We rarely purchased anything for costumes, mostly using what we had.  Noelle has been:  a ladybug, Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz, an Amish girl, a princess, a soccer player, a veterinarian, a fairy, Katniss, a knight, and a farm girl w/ a goat!  Micah has been a lion, an Amish boy, a construction worker, a policeman, a turkey hunter, an elephant, Gimli, and a pirate. 

There is a big reason why I almost like Halloween.  And that is that in 2006, when Micah was 3 years old, he accepted Christ as his Savior while we were carving pumpkins!!  These pictures are from that very day:

I remember this day very clearly.  I was a single mom & doing the best that I could.  We were doing the simplest of devotionals.  I still have it and we read it again yesterday while we carved our pumpkins.

It is put out by CTA and it says:

"God comes to us and picks us up from a lonely, cold field.  He washes off all the dirt of our sin.  He removes the seeds of doubt, fear, and hate that have grown inside us.  Then He places within us the light of His love.  This love warms our hearts.  What was once filled with darkness is now flooded with light.  That love puts a smile on our face!  Now the whole world can see God's love shining in us!  Got SHINE for the Lord as you Share His Incredible News Everywhere!  Matthew 5:14-16:   You are the light of the world... Let your light so shine."  

We talked about how God takes the yucky sin out of us & puts His light in us.  And that precious little boy lifted both little arms to the ceiling & said that he wanted Jesus.  

So you see, it's hard for me to hate Halloween when my son accepted Christ during a Halloween-ish object lesson!  These are precious memories and nearly every year since we have carved pumpkins and told a similar devotional.  A great one is this book:

So maybe you don't do anything for Halloween, and that's okay.  Or maybe you pass out neat treats & tracts.  Or maybe you go trick-or-treating.  Consider that perhaps your Christian friends who are doing Halloween-ish things are participating in their community & getting to know their neighbors and also having fun!

936 Saturdays

The first 52 Saturdays were filled with nursing & cloth diapers & stroller rides & visits to Grandpa & Grammie's house. 

Next came 52 Saturdays of spending time w/ Daddy & learning to walk & Saturday night baths & snuggles. 

52 Saturdays of walking around the block & to the playground & sledding & snow-man building. 
52 Saturdays of Home Depot projects & Shriner clowns & splitting time between parents. 
52 Saturdays of birthday parties & dance recitals & Chutes & Ladders & making cookies. 

(Time is passing quickly.)

It's school time now.  52 Saturdays of Kidgits events & reading homework & playing dress-up.  52 Saturdays of AWANA verses & Little House on the Prairie & visits w/ Daddy.  52 Saturdays of Saturday morning cartoons & Playmo 'Merica & game nights & family devotions. 

We're homeschooling & it's 52 Saturdays of educational events & movie nights & still the Saturday night baths & snuggles.  52 Saturdays of sleepovers & bottle-feeding goats & serving others & campfires.  52 Saturdays of shopping for clothes & pumpkin carving & cleaning bedrooms & singing together.

52 Saturdays of summer camp & mission trips & Grandpa & Grammie's house. 52 Saturdays of camping & going on walks & cousins.  52 Saturdays of sleeping in & musicals & reading books & youth group parties.  

And then I blinked and all of a sudden there are only less than 200 left!  How did we get down to 20%?  Those hours of laundry & hiking & homework & housecleaning & dishes had seemed so long. 
Ahead of us we have Saturdays of driving & first jobs & babysitting & dating (?).  Saturdays of homework & piling wood & summer visitation & friends & Africa. 

Oh, it hasn't been perfect.  But if we had it to do over again, we would just make different mistakes. 

936 Saturdays.  That's what we get. 
Now, that's not all we get.  (Lord willing).  But that is what we get for childhood. And they need those 936 Saturdays . For the foundation of their lives.  For security & roots & spiritual training & family & traditions & work ethic & boredom & to get enough sleep.

I don't want to squander them.  I don't want to say, "Oh, we'll do family devotions next Saturday." 
While it is still called today...
Redeeming the time...

I truly struggle with my messy house.  But I will not look back at those precious, dear 80% of my daughter's childhood Saturdays, and wish I had spent one minute more cleaning than I did. 
We've lived life.  And we've squeezed as many drops of joy out as we could.

This day is never going to come 'round again.  And like a snowball rolling down a mountain, time is picking up speed and seems to have a cumulative effect, getting faster & faster the closer we get to 18 years of age. 

If it's been a grumpy Saturday.... I can be thankful that I have opportunities to discipline.
If it's been a sleepy Saturday.... How wonderful to know that home is a place where we can just BE. 
If it's been a serving Saturday.... Who better to serve with than my family!

We share the joys and our finite Saturdays.  We share Jesus & our faith. 
We mamas... we set the tone.  Dig your heels in and s-l-o-w- it- d-o-w-n. 
In your own way, in a way that works for your family.
The chaos & the mess & the 'musts' that really aren't can wait.  Because there will only be one Saturday when my son is 12 years and 3.5 months old.  There will only be one Saturday when my daughter is 14 years and 3 months old.
I don't want to miss it.  

"Heavenly Blueberry & Cream Angel Dessert" ~A Kitchen Post

This recipe is from:
http://www.melskitchencafe.com/heavenly-blueberry-and-cream-angel-dessert/

Although I see that it is posted in various places online, so I can't say for sure where it originated from.  I found it b/c a lady in my Sunday School class, Paula, brought it to a BBQ this past Saturday, and then kindly remembered to bring me the recipe on Sunday, b/c I had asked for it.

I think I'm a sucker for trifles.  They are just SO pretty!  I don't own a trifle bowl, but I have one that's very like a trifle bowl & it is good enough.

This dessert has plenty of fatty, yummy ingredients & of course it's sweet- but it doesn't over-do it on the sweetness.  The blueberry filling only has 2 T of sugar and the whipped cream just 3 T of powdered sugar.

Blueberry filling:

• 12 oz. frozen blueberries
• 2 T sugar
• 2 T cornstarch
• 1/4 c. cold water
• 1/2 T lemon juice

Cake & Cream:

• Baked, cooled & cubed angel food cake, (may not need all of it.  I used a mix, but I think you can use any type of angel food cake- homemade, mix or purchase one that has already been made.)  
• 16 oz. cream cheese, softened
• 2/3 c. half and half or evaporated milk
• 2/3 c. sugar

Whipped Cream:

• 1 1/2 c. heavy cream
• 3 T powdered sugar

Directions:

1. For the blueberry filling, in a medium saucepan, combine the blueberries, sugar, cornstarch, water & lemon juice.  Bring the mixture to a simmer & cook until thickened, 5-7 minutes, stirring often.  Remove from the heat & let cool to room temperature.
2. For the cake & cream layer, in a blender or with an electric mixer whip together the cream cheese, half-and-half or evaporated milk and sugar until smooth and creamy.  Transfer the mixture to a bowl if you use a blender.  Fold in the angel food cake cubes.  Keep in mind that you may not use all the cake cubes, especially if using an angel food cake mix.  Add cake cubes unti they are all thickly coated with a layer of cream.  If making this in advance, it can dry out if there is too much angel food cake added.
3. For the whipped cream, beat together the heavy cream and powdered sugar until peaks form.  
4. To assemble, in a trifle dish or in a large glass blow, spread half of the angel food cake mixture.  Top with half of the blueberries, spreading evenly across, and then spread half of the sweetened whipped cream.  Repeat the layers.
5. Cover and refrigerate at least 2 hours or up to 24 hours.  Serve chilled.

 

What the 4th of July Means to Me

 Well~  This sums up a bit of it, quite well.  I posted it a year ago:

"4th of July time has to be equal in regard to family togetherness as Christmas is! I just love this time of year, in spite of the oppressive heat! I love seeing on my newsfeed that y'all are visiting your families. I love knowing that I will spend time with MY family, with my Sjoberg family, and this year even with my Smith family! (That can be confusing - I am NOW a Smith, but I actually come from Smiths. ~Disturbing, isn't it!!!) I love the picnics & the swimming & the parade & the fireworks. I love knowing I will be at EHBC this Sunday! 4th of July time is all about our country & our families. There are a lot of patriotic holidays. I'm acutely aware of them as they each pass. But I think I'll choose the 4th of July as one to think about the difficulties of the families who have been left behind due to a loved one giving his life in service for our country. Here we are ~in Carmel or in Hodgdon, Maine~ excited for sparklers & watermelon & time with cousins, truly blessed to live in the USA, thankful for the rich heritage given to us in both our country & our family. We should not allow this holiday time to pass without thanking God for our country, without reaching out to those who have given dearly to our country. Perhaps it means watching Saving Private Ryan or perhaps it means having a conversation with your kids or perhaps it means writing a letter. For me, I will be spending time with my family. My Family. In my Free Country. My dear sister-in-law & her dear family, who lost James. I get to be with my family & they don't get to be with him. My family who lost their nephew, Aaron. The loss is SO great & it seems even more unfair on a patriotic & family-oriented holiday. I don't have the words. The sacrifice is great. The pain is deep. '...It is for us the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us—that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion—that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain—that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom—and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.' " 

That says how I feel about as concisely as I know how.  
Even so... I will elaborate.

My grandmother, born in 1918, was very patriotic.  (My grandfather may have been as well, and although I have many memories of him, he went to heaven when I was 12 years old, so I don't have any specific memories of his patriotism!!  However, I was in my upper 30's when my Gram died so I had many more years to observe her patriotism!)  My grandmother served in the WAVES during WWII and my grandfather was in the army.  I wish that I knew more about his personal story of being a WWII soldier.  On this same side of the family I have one uncle who served in the military and two cousins.  

For the very purpose of the 4th of July, Independence Day, the approval of the Declaration of Independence, and for the added reason that I come with a heritage of patriotism, clearly & obviously, the 4th of July means Our Country to me.  The United States of America.  We express our love for our country with the colors red, white, and blue.  Flags.  Parades.  Fireworks.  Maybe singing.  Prayer.  Thanksgiving.  We read books about our country.  We learn the history of our country.  We may talk to our kids about our duties as Americans.  Pastors preach sermons about America & citizenship.  Families watch movies about America.  

 

Celebrating patriotic holidays makes me think about what I remember about my Social Studies and History classes in school.  (I guarantee you that a lot more information was presented than I remember now, as a nearly 40-year old!!)  One year of high school was World History.  (Thumbs down on that year for me.  I didn't like it.)  My favorite teacher in high school was Little Fitz and he taught my favorite two classes:  Government & U.S. History.  Now, I assume that I had a 4th year of History in high school, but I have no recollection of what that was.  
When I was little I remember a bit about learning about Christopher Columbus 'discovering' America.  I think there was even some sort of drama presentation with costumes and songs.  

It has been said that Generation 'X'ers, (of which I am one), don't have any heroes.  That may be true.  I remember learning about Columbus in a way that came across as though he was good, maybe even kind-of 'all good.'  (These are 'big picture' sort of memories.  Nothing specific.)  Our founding fathers were good.  A lot of conservative Christians today say that nearly all of our founding fathers were good and upright and Christian.  It seems like in the past we expressed history as of course- for one thing, the winners.  We won independence from England so we can write our history in a way that reflects that.  We took over land from Native Americans and the history books from when I was young make that sound very different than it actually looked.

I have a problem with making people into heroes.  Inevitably it will come out that so-and-so had a moral failure & so-and-so cut out verses from his Bible that he didn't agree with and/or want to follow.  Time has a way of smoothing off these sharp & unpleasant character traits.  In today's world, especially today's Christian world, what would we think of a leader who had an adulterous affair with another man's wife, got her pregnant & had her husband killed?  Well, we know him as King David.  One of my almost-heroes is Rich Mullins.  His music speaks to me like nothing else.  However, he is not a 'perfect' guy.  He had a problems with women & with alcohol.  If I had him built up as a perfect guy in my head, that would kind-of all come crashing down when I found out things about him that are truly ugly.  

With my kids, I point out good characteristics in a person.  A good financial decision.  Kindness.  Compassion.  Smart choices.  Rather than saying a more global statement like, "Be like him!"  "Be like her!"  Recently we all watched 'Invictus' about Nelson Mandela and the South African rugby team.  It was inspiring.  Nelson Mandela showed forgiveness that is far above anything than I can even imagine.  In fact, both my husband and I have been able to practice better forgiveness since then, thanks to God & because of the inspiration of this movie.  So it's disappointing that Nelson Mandela had moral failures.  Broken marriages.  Unhappy children.  Same with watching Selma.  It makes you want MLK Jr. to be 'all good.'  But no one is all good.  

My point is that my understanding of America is rooted in being taught, at least some, a sort-of fictionalized view of America.  Not realistic.  So sometimes I'm a bit skeptical when I read something that seems very one-sided and quite tainted with bias.  It's also rooted in more realistic teaching during my teen & college years.  Learning not just about Colonial America but the Civil Rights Movement.  Harsher realities.  

I think we could look back at each time period of our history here in the U.S.A. and see near-heroes, truly quite good men, as well as some things and/or people that were very, very wrong.  In small ways & big ways.  On a family vacation we visited Shenandoah National Park in Virginia.  Absolutely beautiful.  But even the history of how that park came to be shows an ugly side of America.  

However, there is so much to love about our country.  The freedoms that we have had here are unprecedented.  While acknowledging that not all of our traditional American heroes have been 'good' guys & also acknowledging some truly evil and bad parts of our history, we can also acknowledge how amazing America is.  I am proud of the broad sense of America and of many of the specifics.  We have a lot of history that is remarkable and interesting.  There were a lot of people who have given much to make our country what it is.

 

We have never been able to travel a ton, because it requires money that we usually don't have.  However, we have been blessed to travel a lot more than others get a chance to.  For some of these travels we have chosen History-themed vacations:  In the past few years I've done the Freedom Trail in Boston twice, once with just Kevin & once with all 5 of us.  We've gone to Williamsburg & Yorktown & Jamestown.  These were tremendously enriching experiences.  4 years ago on a preteen mission trip that Kevin & I were leading we took our preteens to see Independence Hall in Philadelphia as well as the Betsy Ross house.  

So, the 4th of July makes me think of the 'Big Picture' history of America.  

It also makes me think of individuals.  

I grew up enjoying reading lots of historical fiction and many biographies, most centered around WWII.  It's easy to look at 'history'- history of anything, in terms of the 'Big Picture'.  It becomes more real when we see it as a picture of individual human beings.  

When James died in November of 2010 we were studying the Civil War in our homeschooling.  We used a lot of great picture books.  It became very hard to read those picture books.  My heart ached at the loss of every single individual.  9 months later is when we visited Yorktown.  An incoming hurricane cut our Yorktown visit short, but being in the fields of battle was overwhelming. The combination of patriotism, love of History, thoughts on the courage the soldiers had & sense of loss that war brings.  Brought silence.

So we think of individuals who have given so much for our country.

The 4th of July means, to me:

Patriotism, The United States of America, History, Individuals who have built into our country.  

It also means Traditions.

It means parades & special foods & patriotic clothing & fireworks & picnics, all taking place on hot July days. 

 

4th of July means spending time with FAMILY.
Every single 4th of July that I had, growing up, was spent going to the parade & going to my grandparents' farm, and ending in fireworks.  
So the afternoons meant playing with my Sjoberg cousins in the brook & in the barn & the orchard & later at my uncle & aunt's pool.  It meant homemade ice cream & treats & sun & heat & it means good, sweet memories for me.  

For my kids it has either meant Bangor or Hodgdon.  Whether just our family, or having a few friends over, or celebrating with Foster & Sjoberg families in Hodgdon, it has also meant FAMILY.  

To me, the 4th of July means:  My Country.  My Freedom.  My History.  My Past & My Future.  Traditions.  Family.  Food & Fun.  Parades & Fireworks.  Flags.  
LOVE.