Transitioning from School to Homeschooling and from Homeschooling to School

Here is our schooling history:
Noelle, currently 15 years old, attended 1/2 day Kindergarten at a Christian school, as well as grades 1-2.  She homeschooled for 6 years and has just completed grade 9 at a public school.
Micah, currently 13 years old, attended 1/2 day Kindergarten at a Christian school, homeschooled for 6 years and has just completed grade 7 at a Christian school. 

When transitioning out of a schooling context, parents need to remember that their children can't imagine school as anything other than what they have experienced at school.  (And we all know that "doing school at home" pretty much misses the whole point of the flexibility & freedom that homeschooling brings!).  The children, and maybe even the parents, have a schooling mindset.  Children who have been schooled cannot fully see the pros and cons of homeschooling because they haven't experienced it.  I would say that is true to a lesser degree of going from homeschooling to school.

When we transitioned from School to Homeschooling, my kiddos were young:  They had just turned 6 & 8 years old.  However, I believe my advice for this transition works regardless of age.  Ask your kids what they think they are going to miss about going to school.  If possible, try to re-create that for the homeschool setting.  

My kids said that they were going to miss the "special days":  100 Day of School, Valentine's Day parties, and Field Day.  This is why we hosted our own Valentine's Day parties for homeschoolers:
http://carmelhillbillies.blogspot.com/2014/02/annual-valentines-day-parties-special.html
And this is why we hosted our own Homeschool Field Days:
http://carmelhillbillies.blogspot.com/2014/05/annual-homeschool-field-day-home.html

Additionally, in your school to homeschooling transition, if your curriculum and the level of your students allows for this freedom, let your children choose some of the subjects they want to learn about.  Perhaps a unit study in Science & a unit study in Social Studies of their choice.  Let them choose books that they want to read.  This will be fun for your children and it will also begin growing in them the philosophy of child-directed learning.  No matter what your homeschooling style, having students engaged & invested in their own education is one of the biggest goals, outcomes, and advantages of homeschooling. 

The Homeschooling to School transition is of course fresher in my mind, as just a year ago we were going through this transition.  Many homeschool parents, myself included, always worry about their weaknesses, the perceived & actual areas that their children are "behind" in.  Homeschooling has SO many options for curriculum, co-ops and classes, that a homeschooling parent always wishes that they had more time & could cover more material.  I certainly felt that way!  I was hard on myself because of the areas where I felt I should/ could be doing better & more.  I did not give myself enough credit for the areas where we were doing really well. 

We looked at homeschooling one year at a time.  My goal was always that should the children need to, they could easily fit back into their academics at grade level, at school.  However, as year after year of homeschooling rolls by, it can make you a little worried, wondering if they will be able to "do school" well at the appropriate level.

I have two very different children, with very different areas & levels of abilities, and let me just say:  They did JUST fine academically going back to school.  So take a deep breath and be encouraged.

Let me start with what I would NOT do.  If I can lay aside the wishes that we had done more of "x" or learned more in the subject of "y", then I can honestly say:  I would not change much at all.  I would not get up earlier and have long days so that they could "know what school is like."  I would not choose methods of teaching & subject matter that they are not engaged in so that they would know what it is like in "real" school.  I would not put time limits on their tests.  I would not refuse to allow more reading time.  Let the benefits of homeschooling be, whether you are transitioning to school or not.  The children did not have a hard time transitioning to a school day, getting up early, needing to be prepared with their books & pencils, having a limited time to take tests, etc.  What a shame it would have been if I had tried to incorporate these "school" ways of life into our homeschooling, in an attempt to prepare them for school. 

One thing that both of my children really missed after transitioning to school was time to read.  During homeschooling my children had the time to read HUNDREDS of books.  Upon beginning school, they simply did not have time to do anywhere near the amount of reading they had been accustomed to during homeschooling.  I guess we can look at that as one of those, "Don't be sad it's over, be glad it happened" type of things.  Homeschooling provided years of reading for us.  Now Noelle and Micah have in them the desire & love of reading, even if they don't get to do it as often or as much as they would like. 

Also, this is a reminder when you transition from homeschooling to schooling to try not to over-schedule the weekends.  This is hard for me personally.  I want to volunteer and go to fairs and plays.  When you are homeschooling, you can take advantage of every opportunity that weekends bring, because you know that you can just take a day off during the week, or adjust your schedule in some other way.  Once your kids are in a school setting, they are truly going to need the break during the weekends.  They will probably need to sleep and the weekends are also their time to see friends and pursue the hobbies they are interested in. 

Even at the end of their first year back in school, both children, in public and Christian schools, remained stunned and disappointed in how mean some people can be.  One said recently that they wished I had prepared them for how unkind and cruel other kids can be. 

Homeschooling today is certainly as social an experience as you want to make it.  My kids have always been involved with church, they took dance classes, participated in bookclubs and other extracurricular activities, volunteered in their community, and played in some sports.  They were used to hanging around people of all types.  However in going to school they noticed & experienced what can happen at school, a place where kids who are the same age spend a lot of time together:  Kids pick on differences.  They apply pressure that only certain clothes, shoes, cars, haircuts and music should be liked. 

I don't think that we can or should avoid the pain that people can bring into our lives, but I point it out because it is something both of my children experienced and mentioned multiple times this past year.  So there are some life lessons to apply here.  "If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men."  (Romans 12:18).  I tell my kids that they will experience difficulties with people everywhere they go, for the rest of their lives!  The family they marry into, the family they are born into, the people they work with, the people they live with, the people they go to church with- It's a fact of life and a life skill to learn to work with people, and to learn to know when to walk away and choose not to work with someone.  

Let your children lead, (they've gotten used to that through homeschooling and child-directed interests), in the are of extra-curricular activities.  Both of my children chose to stop taking dance classes once they began school.  This was a little disappointing to me, however they both felt it would be too much to adjust to school and take several dance classes a week.  

Noelle had been doing plays & musicals as a homeschooler and she was excited to continue that in the school setting.  She did a fall school musical and a community play in the fall, quickly followed by a winter one-act play competition and not too long after that, followed by the Young Curators program.  We decided that two productions in the fall is too much!  So we decided together that we will not make that same mistake this next year!  

One thing that has stuck out and been obvious to their teachers is that my children are engaged in their education.  Particularly compared to their schooled peers.  I know that comes from years of homeschooling.  I received a lot of feedback from Noelle's teachers about her.  Here are some snippets:

• "In class Noelle is always focused and attentive... Noelle expresses her understanding with a smile and a nod of her head.  I know she's new to public education but it's clear she's learned to think for herself and to act responsibly and independently.  These habits will be very beneficial as she progresses through public education, although they may seem a little out-of-the-ordinary at this time.  Many of Noelle's classmates have learned through the 'middle school philosophy' which at least from my observations, emphasizes 'self-esteem' over solid, academic accomplishment and learning.... I like the model she sets for her classmates as an active and self-reliant learner."
• "You have been, from the moment I met you, one of the kindest, most present, young adults I have ever met.  You are both intelligent and articulate and your ability to step up and get the conversation going is an invaluable tool in group work and in life."
• "It has been easy to work with Noelle this year.  She understands that her teachers are here to help her change and grow.  I'm sure she has told you that working with some of our students is a real challenge..."
• "Thanks to you for raising such an interesting, hard-working and selfless daughter!" 
• "It has been an absolute pleasure to have Noelle in class; she's truly an exceptional student..."

At the end of the year, even Noelle's friends had some surprising things to say to her:

• "..You're truly an inspiration!  I wish there could be more people as thoughtful and selfless as you!"
• "..You're someone I can rely on and look up to..."
• (And an actual letter from a high school friend):  "I can't express enough how happy I am to have met you this year.  Ever since, you have been nothing but kind, caring, funny, and an all around happy person.  Your inner drive to help others truly inspires me every day to want to become a better person... I remember one time we were walking at school and you noticed a piece of trash on the floor and without hesitation you picked it up and did the right thing.  Anyone else would have just glanced over and kept walking.  By you doing that small act tells a lot about your character and I'm glad to call you my friend!.."

I did receive a few comments about Micah as well:

• "He is a patient friend and sees all of those around him equally and as friends.... His ability to adjust to changes and his willingness to try new things.  Micah is a learner and loves the interesting facts he finds in the material covered in his classes.  He is a strong, quiet leader in the classroom..."
• "He is a hard worker & dedicated learner in the classroom.  Micah is a hands-on learner that has an innate ability to apply what he is learning to real life situations."
• "He is a great student to have; and he has lots of knowledge."
• (And what every former homeschooling parent wants to hear:)  "Your kids are awesome, very normal in the right ways and different in ways that make them more mature than some of their peers." 

I include these comments to illustrate that that the important parts about school aren't always about "school" at all.  They are about character and impacting people.  Knowing how to get information and being driven to do well, from your own inside, not from someone trying to "make you get it" from the outside-in. 

When our previously-homeschooled kids transition to school, they are ambassadors for homeschooling, especially in the public school.  Administrators, teachers, and students may have preconceived notions of what homeschoolers are like.  Our kids have an opportunity to really shine.  And, if the children are Christians, as mine are, they have an opportunity to shine for Christ:  Whether they are in public or Christian school- to their teachers and other students.